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Articles by
Rick Stoeckel
Rick Stoeckel is a contributing writer to ClickHole and The Onion. He lives in Chicago with his wife, two children, and one cat, to which he is allergic.
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July 18, 2022Please Watch My Big Break as an Actor on a New HBO Drama Where My Character Is Dragged Nude Behind a Horse with My Penis Showing
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August 12, 2020Americans, We Have Defeated the Invading Alien Horde By Allowing Them to Completely Dominate Us
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February 15, 2019Spoiler Alerts From the Passenger Scheduled to Sit Beside You On Your Next Flight
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November 2, 2018I Am the Ultimate Outsider In this Election Because I Only Have a Vague Understanding of Politics
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April 25, 2017Lois Lane Explains White Male Privilege to Superman
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April 7, 2014The Father of Dragons
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January 4, 2011Spider-Man Speaks At Career Day
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August 30, 2010Do People Really Love My New Mustache?
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April 2, 2010Behind the Commandments: Moses’s Untold Story
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May 19, 2009E-Mail From Your Facilities Department
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June 17, 2008The Press Release for My Attempt to Break the Guinness World Record for Holding Breath Underwater
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February 26, 2008Letter of Recommendation for Rick Stoeckel, Who Was Homeschooled
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November 29, 2023Your 2023 WebMD Wrapped
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November 22, 2023Post-Dinner Interview with a Twelve-Year-Old Who Sat at the Grown-Ups’ Table for the First Time on Thanksgiving
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December 4, 2023The National Lyrics or Things My Dad Says While Refusing to Check Google Maps?
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February 23, 2012Lines from The Princess Bride That Double as Comments on Freshman Composition Papers
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December 7, 2023Maura Quint’s Presidential Debate Recaps: The One With the Lady Moderators
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December 7, 2023Scenes from a Hallmark Hanukkah Movie Written by Someone Who Has Definitely Met a Jew
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December 6, 2023Answering Questions at the Climate Summit After My Speech in Support of Oil World
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December 6, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: Anne Carson