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Articles by
River Clegg
River Clegg is a comedy writer living in Brooklyn. He contributes to McSweeney’s, The New Yorker, The Onion, ClickHole, and others. Eel enthusiast.
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September 25, 2018A Day In the Life of a Social Media Influencer
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June 26, 2018You’re Meditating Wrong
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October 24, 2017The Lost Journals of Blackbeard
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July 26, 2017If You Give a Poor a Doctor
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July 13, 2017New Wall Street Sculptures
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May 15, 2017This.
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April 14, 2017Church Glossary
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February 1, 2017I Intend to Keep Scrolling Until I Feel Something
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December 1, 2016My Lies, Translated
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August 14, 2015FAQ: Personal Branding
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July 15, 2015Classic Jokes Explained
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April 16, 2015Which Ad Experience Do You Prefer?
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January 14, 2021I Am the Designer of This Restaurant’s Outdoor Seating Space, and This Is My Artist’s Statement
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January 13, 2021Excerpts from the Sex and the City Revival in Which Samantha Is Replaced with Fran Lebowitz
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December 21, 2020Things I Didn’t Have on My 2020 Bingo Card Bingo
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January 11, 2021Grendel Should Not Have Rampaged Through Our Capitol, But Slaying Him Will Only Further Divide Our Clans
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January 20, 2021
Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1-1,056 -
January 20, 2021A Conservative’s Guide to Preparing for a Biden Presidency
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January 20, 2021The Immortan Joe Administration Releases the 2776 Report
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January 20, 2021It’s Me, OLD GUY, the Undeveloped Character in Your Screenplay