Articles by
River Clegg
River Clegg is a comedy writer living in Brooklyn. He contributes to McSweeney’s, The New Yorker, The Onion, ClickHole, and others. Eel enthusiast.
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July 26, 2017If You Give a Poor a Doctor
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July 13, 2017List: New Wall Street Sculptures
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May 15, 2017This.
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April 14, 2017List: Church Glossary
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February 1, 2017I Intend to Keep Scrolling Until I Feel Something
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December 1, 2016My Lies, Translated
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August 14, 2015FAQ: Personal Branding
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July 15, 2015Classic Jokes Explained
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April 16, 2015Which Ad Experience Do You Prefer?
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February 6, 2015Monty Python for Millennials
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November 26, 2013
The First Black Friday, by William Bradford -
February 15, 2013H.R. 2918: An Act to Guarantee Permanent Legal Residential Status to Gabriela Vasquez of Tucson, Arizona
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August 17, 2017As Your Doctor, I Am Protesting the Removal of Your Tumor Because I Don’t Want to Erase Your Medical History
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August 3, 2017And God Created Millennial Earth
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August 9, 2017I’m a Google Manufacturing Robot and I Believe Humans Are Biologically Unfit to Have Jobs in Tech
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July 31, 2017Please Forgive Us at Blue Apron for This Week’s Meals. We’ve Been Having a Tough Time Lately
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August 18, 2017I Mean, I Can’t Even With This Solar Eclipse
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August 18, 2017The Alt-Left’s Radical Agenda
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August 18, 2017Monologue: I’m Ivanka Trump, and I Cannot Believe You Fucking Morons Keep Falling for My Bullshit
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August 18, 2017List: 7 Outfits That Will Tell Your Therapist How You Really Feel