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November 18, 2020Welcome to Dog Influencer Heaven
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July 17, 2020Captions to Use on Baby’s First Instagram After a Heinously Long Fertility Journey
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April 4, 2020McSweeney’s April Instagram Readings
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January 22, 2020I Turned My Passion Into My Dream Job and Now I Sell Small Hats to Iguanas On Instagram
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January 10, 2020What Your Instagram Filter Says About Your Perspective On the Inevitability of Death
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October 22, 2019An Open Plea to My Instagram Acquaintance
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October 17, 201911 Ways You Are Superior to VSCO Girls
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April 24, 2019Popular Thirst Traps Throughout History
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March 12, 2019Did I Mention That I Am Not On Social Media?
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September 25, 2018A Day In the Life of a Social Media Influencer
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September 2, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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September 7, 2021A Short Quiz for My Students in Lieu of Asking About Their Vaccine Status or Requesting That They Wear Masks
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October 9, 2009It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 8, 2021Wake Up, Sailors, Scurvy Is a Hoax
Recently
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September 17, 2021Our Faculty Success Initiative Redefines Everything You Thought You Knew About “Faculty” and “Success”
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September 17, 2021Adam and Eve Decide Who Should Be in Charge of Childbirth
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September 16, 2021The Founders Would Like to Remind You They’ve Been Dead for Nearly Two Hundred Years
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September 16, 2021Updated COVID Guidelines: A Flow Chart Wrapped in a Riddle Shrouded in a Clusterfuck