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All posts tagged
kidnapping
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August 14, 2023Predictive Texts for the Conflict-Averse
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April 30, 2021The ’90s Are Back, and They Aren’t Leaving Without Their Son
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February 18, 2020We Have Exciting Deals On Your Child’s School Photos — We Also Have Your Child
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November 22, 2019If You Ever Want to See Your Grandchild Again, You’ll Subscribe to Our New Streaming Network
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May 17, 2017Sorry This Note is Written With Cut Out Magazine Letters, But I Have Your Daughter
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December 8, 2016We Kidnapped Real People, Not Actors, to See What They Thought of the All-New 2017 Chevy Equinox
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May 27, 2014iTunes Terms and Conditions Written By a Person Being Held Against His Will
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March 14, 2014Give Me Back My Husband! At Some Point!
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May 22, 2013Captive Audience SEO
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March 8, 2004Sestina: She Used a Funnel
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November 29, 2023Your 2023 WebMD Wrapped
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December 4, 2023The National Lyrics or Things My Dad Says While Refusing to Check Google Maps?
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February 23, 2012Lines from The Princess Bride That Double as Comments on Freshman Composition Papers
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November 28, 2023Please Buy Tesla’s Cybertruck, Which Is Cool, Not Stupid