McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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All posts tagged
kidnapping
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August 15, 2024Girl Ransom Note
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May 20, 2024So Sorry! Just Seeing Your Ransom Note Now
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August 14, 2023Predictive Texts for the Conflict-Averse
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April 30, 2021The ’90s Are Back, and They Aren’t Leaving Without Their Son
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February 18, 2020We Have Exciting Deals On Your Child’s School Photos — We Also Have Your Child
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November 22, 2019If You Ever Want to See Your Grandchild Again, You’ll Subscribe to Our New Streaming Network
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May 17, 2017Sorry This Note is Written With Cut Out Magazine Letters, But I Have Your Daughter
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December 8, 2016We Kidnapped Real People, Not Actors, to See What They Thought of the All-New 2017 Chevy Equinox
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May 27, 2014iTunes Terms and Conditions Written By a Person Being Held Against His Will
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March 14, 2014Give Me Back My Husband! At Some Point!
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 30, 2024Faculty, Rejoice: Gmail Can Now Translate “Deanspeak”
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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September 10, 2024The Department of Energy Wants You to Know Your Conservation Efforts Are Making a Difference
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October 10, 2024The Topeka Witches Coven Answers Questions about the Upcoming Union Vote to Join the United Auto Workers
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October 10, 2024I’m the “Scoopy Daddy”: Clarifying My New Approach to Parenting
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October 9, 2024270 Reasons: Because the American Experiment Is on the Defensive
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October 9, 2024Leaked Transcript of the Secret Meeting Where Democrats Control the Weather