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All posts tagged
kidnapping
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April 30, 2021The ’90s Are Back, and They Aren’t Leaving Without Their Son
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February 18, 2020We Have Exciting Deals On Your Child’s School Photos — We Also Have Your Child
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November 22, 2019If You Ever Want to See Your Grandchild Again, You’ll Subscribe to Our New Streaming Network
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May 17, 2017Sorry This Note is Written With Cut Out Magazine Letters, But I Have Your Daughter
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December 8, 2016We Kidnapped Real People, Not Actors, to See What They Thought of the All-New 2017 Chevy Equinox
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May 27, 2014iTunes Terms and Conditions Written By a Person Being Held Against His Will
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March 14, 2014Give Me Back My Husband! At Some Point!
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May 22, 2013Captive Audience SEO
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March 8, 2004Sestina: She Used a Funnel
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May 26, 2000Humor Beginning With an Excerpt From a Newspaper
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May 13, 2022Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children
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November 13, 2018If People Talked to Other Professionals the Way They Talk to Teachers
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May 18, 2022A Passenger’s One-Star Review of the Trolley Ride from the Trolley Problem
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May 2, 2022Welcome to the Middle-Aged Restaurant. Please Stop Complaining
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May 20, 2022How Oizys, Greek Goddess of Misery, Spends Her Sundays
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May 20, 2022My Prediction That Political Attacks Against Me Will Escalate Has Nothing to Do With Me Exposing Myself to a Flight Attendant
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May 20, 2022Diseases All Woodmont Alumni from 1971 to 2021 Should Immediately Be Screened For
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May 20, 2022Babies Need to Pull Themselves Up by Their Tiny Bootstraps