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All posts tagged
parents
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December 22, 2010An Open Letter to Beyblade Metal Fusion
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December 21, 2010I Swear to Fucking God, If I Come Home This Christmas and Find Out My Parents are Still Unplugging Their Computer From the Wall When They Want to Turn It Off, I Will Fucking Snap
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March 15, 2010An Open Letter to the Person Who Stole Our Diaper Bag
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March 4, 2010Universal Invoice for a Manhattan Child’s Birthday Party
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January 21, 2010How I Plan To Impress My Girlfriend’s Parents
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June 10, 2008A Former WWF Wrestler, Now a Suburban Realtor and Parent of Three, Campaigns for PTA Chair and Battles His Instincts
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June 6, 2008My Campaign Speech to My Parents
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April 28, 2008Conversations My Parents Must Have Had While Planning to Raise a Child
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April 3, 2008Easy-Listening Songs From the ’70s, Rewritten by the Artists After They Had Kids
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November 29, 2007Twenty-First-Century Computing, as Explained by My Mother
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October 8, 2021A Typical Friday in Oregon, as Imagined by My East Coast Friends
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September 2, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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September 30, 2021This Is Your Kid’s School and Even Though the Emergency Contact Form Lists Your Husband, We Need You, the Mom
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September 22, 2021It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
Recently
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October 20, 2021It Would Be Un-American to Support Legislation That Doesn’t Directly Benefit Me
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October 20, 2021Your Essay Shows Promise But Suffers from Demonic Possession
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October 19, 2021A Morally Injured Healthcare Worker’s Recommendations for Updating Your Advanced Medical Directives During the COVID-19 Pandemic
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October 19, 2021Tragedians in Cars Getting Coffee