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All posts tagged
soccer
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October 11, 2018The Coaching Candidates for Every Youth Soccer Team In America
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June 14, 2018The Top Ten 2018 Men’s World Cup Teams Ranked By How Easily the First Lines of Each Country’s National Anthem Could Be Slipped Unnoticed Into Expository Voiceover In a Lord Of The Rings Movie
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November 21, 2017Marina Abramović is Your Kid’s New Soccer Coach and the Team is Down by Nine Goals at the Half
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November 15, 2017Please, Turn On Notifications
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March 18, 2016A Youth Soccer Player’s Participation Award Acceptance Speech
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May 6, 2015A Message from George Orwell, Silicon Valley Youth Soccer Club Asst. Director of Operations and Coach, Girls U12
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June 13, 2014A World Cup Viewing Guide for Stay-at-Home Dads
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April 18, 2014Reviews of Self-Help Books by Professional Athletes: Putting the Biscuit in the Basket: A Review of Go for the Goal by Mia Hamm.
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May 20, 2013Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Until I found Buddhism, Sikhism seemed compelling—even magical. When golf anxiety started making intimacy unpleasant, Sikh filosophy [sic] kept John grounded. Sikhism’s awesome.”
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November 5, 2012Dispatches from Montevideo: In Which We Consider the Glorious History of Uruguayan Soccer, and Ball Bearings.
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September 22, 2022It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 20, 2022Should I Bring Anything to the Dinner Tonight or Just My Crippling Anxiety?
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September 15, 2022We Are a Picturesque Small Town and We Refuse to Be the Setting for Your Romantic Comedy
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September 21, 2022An Open Letter to Bluey’s Parents: Please Stop
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September 30, 2022Cosette Receives a Letter from Her HOA Regarding Her Castle on a Cloud
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September 30, 2022Spotted Lanternflies or the Misguided Dreams of My Youth?
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September 29, 2022Template for White People Outraged Over Lizzo Playing James Madison’s Flute
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September 29, 2022I’m Not Like Other Fascists