1. A quick and easy way to look like you aren’t wearing makeup: Wash your face.

2. If you don’t want to say hi to someone, run very far away from them.

3. Want to cook the perfect pizza, but don’t know how to cook? Order one from a nearby pizzeria!

4. Don’t have a fork at the office? Tape three pens together. You can’t even tell the difference ;) .

5. Want to seem like you’re working when you’re actually daydreaming? Open Excel, squint your eyes, and cock your head to the side.

6. Want to register to vote but don’t know how? It’s easy! Just log on to The Voice website to vote (Go Team Miley!).

7. Too timid to ask for the check after dinner? Just whisper, “Chickpea!” when the waiter passes by. They’ll bring you the check in no time!

8. Don’t want to embarrass yourself by sneezing in public? Disguise it with a very loud laugh!

9. Want to seem more aloof to a guy? Wear earplugs so you can’t hear anything he’s saying.

10. Tired of late night snacking? Don’t buy Herb Garden Triscuits… They’ll get you every time.

11. Need help remembering someone’s name that you just met? Get it tattooed on your body!

12. Want DIY curls? Wrap your hair around warm boiled hotdogs and fall asleep! They’ll give you that extra flounce ;).

13. Stub your toe and need to stop it from hurting? Punch yourself in the face, and your toe will feel better instantly!

14. Want to whiten your teeth? Cut out tiny white papers and tape them to each tooth!

15. Need to get motivated for a run? Throw a rock at a beehive! You’ll be running faster than you ever knew you could.

16. Social anxiety got you down? If you don’t want to look someone directly in the eye during a conversation, invest in two eye patches!

17. Run out of blush? Give yourself a paper cut and smear blood on your face to highlight your cheekbones!

18. Know how to prevent yourself from stabbing someone before your morning coffee? Please tell us! We are in jail for homicide.