STEP 1: Preheat your browser to 3-4 prominent female Twitter users.
STEP 2: Find tweets discussing important female issues that has nothing to do with you.
STEP 3: Respond with ill-informed chauvinistic counter-arguments.
STEP 4: Engage with angry reactions you get from other tweeters to increase the flavor.
STEP 5: Pepper your tweets with male entitlement and poorly-constructed sexist jokes.
STEP 6: Wait 30 minutes for your mentions to rise.
STEP 7: Upon being hit with concise and funny jokes at your expense, douse each user with harassments and threats.
STEP 8: Once 15 females have blocked you, it is ready to serve.
TRUMP™ American Freedom Toast
STEP 1: Preheat your browser to the twitter pages of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.
STEP 2: Prepare grossly inaccurate infographics and memes. Use the Confederate Flag for extra seasoning.
STEP 3: Set an alert to warn you when Donald Trump tweets, and when Hillary Clinton tweets.
STEP 4: When Trump tweets, tweet back with your images, along with blind praise.
STEP 5: When Hillary tweets, tweet back with your images, along with misguided vitriol. Allude to her age for extra zest.
STEP 6: Flip between blind allegiance and misguided vitriol for about 5 minutes. Dish is ready to serve once your account has been blocked by a Hillary Clinton supporter.
Egg White Power Omelette
STEP 1: Amass 0-10 followers.
STEP 2: Whisk discrimination into your tweets by subtly referring to “the good old days.”
STEP 3: In separate tweets, talk about feeling persecuted as a white Christian in America.
STEP 4: Add a pinch of ethnic and racial slurs. If using them is too spicy for you, just substitute for “thug.”
STEP 5: Mix it all together. You should have a solid base of white privilege.
STEP 6: Let it heat up on the pages of liberal users, or tweets about Black Lives Matter, for about 5 minutes.
STEP 7: Once you’re attacked by other users, settle your mixture down by using bracket symbols around your attacker’s names, or by calling them a “cuck.”
STEP 8: Upon account suspension, dish is ready to serve.
STEP 1: Preheat your browser to the top 10 most followed people on Twitter.
STEP 2: Boil up a farfetched and illogical connection between all of them, in relation to a “New World Order.”
STEP 3: In a separate window, create a page for your “evidence” using poor quality pictures. Draw arrows using MS Paint to guide your readers.
STEP 4: Mix everything together to create your “bullshit batter.”
STEP 5: Drizzle the bullshit batter over tweets discussing the rise of the lizard people and how the government is keeping Bin Laden alive. Don’t forget to tag the most followed profiles!
STEP 6: Garnish tweets with the hashtag “#mindcontrol," and it is ready to serve.
STEP 7: For a more soulful twist, incorporate famous rappers.