7 Habits of Highly Successful People

by Brendon Lloyd

1. Skiing
2. Yachting
3. Snorkeling
4. Golf
5. Polo
6. Dinner parties
7. Shopping

As little as $1 a month ($12 a year!) goes a long way towards supporting our editorial staff and contributors while keeping us ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.

Become a patron

Trending 🔥

October 23, 2020

Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1- 944

by Ben Parker, Stephanie Steinbrecher, Kelsey Ronan, John McMurtrie, Sophia DuRose, Rachel Villa, and Amy Sumerton
October 9, 2009

It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers

by Colin Nissan
May 18, 2020

I Was In Charge of the Deck Chairs On the Titanic, and They Absolutely Did Need Rearranging

by Emily Flake
October 20, 2020

Ten Legitimate Reasons to Pull Out Your Dick On a Zoom Call

by Taylor Kay Phillips, Casey Rand, Sasha Stewart, and Kate Villa

Recently

October 23, 2020

Maura Quint’s Presidential Debate Recaps: The One That Had Better Be the Last One

by Maura Quint
October 23, 2020

Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1- 944

by Ben Parker, Stephanie Steinbrecher, Kelsey Ronan, John McMurtrie, Sophia DuRose, Rachel Villa, and Amy Sumerton
October 23, 2020

Cutting Edge Reforms for the Supreme Court

by Charlie Dektar
October 23, 2020

For the Voter Who Can’t Decide Between Joe Biden and a Third-Party Candidate Who Much More Accurately Represents Their Values and Desires for This Country and the World

by Myq Kaplan

McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON

7 Habits of Highly Successful People

by Brendon Lloyd

Stories About My Puma

Sestina: Rats Live on No Evil Star

Suggested Reads

Trending 🔥

Recently