“Dick Cheney says WEAR A MASK. #realmenwearmasks” — Rep. Liz Cheney

“Men less likely to wear face masks because they’re ‘not cool’ and ‘a sign of weakness’ says study.” — The Hill

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1. Whenever he agrees to put on his mask, refer to him as “the man.”

2. As soon as he consents to wear protective gear that can save the lives of vulnerable people, pretend you can’t lift something and then ask for his help.

3. If he agrees that epidemiologists know more than he does about how the Coronavirus spreads, ask him to grill the meat at a barbecue.

4. Once he resolves to never use a fake mask exemption ID card, make sure he feels appreciated by saying, “You do so much! Wow! I am so grateful!”

5. Compliment him for not appearing at the West Palm Beach public hearing and claiming that wearing protective masks violates God’s wonderful breathing system, and then compliment him again about something like a muscle or his technical abilities or whatever.

6. If he has stopped labeling other men who wear medically recommended masks as “weak,” tell him that he’s the best lover you ever had. He’ll believe you.

7. Does he fully understand that mask-wearing regulations do not violate the Constitution? Now’s the time to make a casual remark about his stubble, and how quickly it grows.

8. As soon as he seems to grasp the concept that his reluctance to wear a mask is based on stereotypical gender ideas that are destructive to society, even when there’s not a pandemic health crisis going on and that worrying what other people think about you for wearing a mask is in fact a weakness and that more than 120,000 Americans have died because not enough people are taking precautions like wearing masks that could have saved so many of them and I can’t believe anyone even has to have this conversation what the fuck is wrong with people just be a man and put on the goddamn mask… Ask him to drive the car. Laugh at his jokes. Ask him to order your food. Say something flirty. Scream when you see a spider.