WHEREAS, Section 67 of the Bathroom Bylaws of the Association of Women Working On the Second Floor (“Association”) assigns the Board of Directors (“Board”) all powers and duties necessary for the administration of Bathroom Affairs (“Affairs”) for the Association and states that the Board may do all such acts and things, except those matters that the Board is prohibited from doing by law or the governing documents;
WHEREAS, the Association acknowledges the biological need of its members, and all human beings, to void their bowels;
WHEREAS, the Association acknowledges that on occasion, due to poor timing, illness, and/or the introduction of a probiotic daily supplement into one’s diet, this voiding must take place at work;
WHEREAS, the Board formally defines the action of multiple toilet-flushing, throat-clearing, and/or repeated opening and closing of the feminine hygiene disposal receptacle as a universal sign of Defecating While Female (“DWF”);
WHEREAS, the Association has agreed to avoid eye contact with its members who emerge from the stall after episodes of DWF;
WHEREAS, the Association will be as expedient as possible and exit the restroom when noticing a set of feet in a bathroom stall where no audible urination is taking place, so that DWF may continue;
WHEREAS, all members of the Association will commit the locations of all single-stall restrooms on the premises to memory;
WHEREAS, the Association agrees to utilize these single-stall restrooms to conduct their DWF whenever time and urgency permit;
WHEREAS, the Association agrees to ignore the flatulence noises made during urination and/or other activity, while accepting toe-tapping, foot-scuffing, and coughing as proper cover-up noise.
NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that the Board of Directors hereby adopts the above Defecation Proclamation into its Bylaws, as addition to, and not replacement of, existing resolutions listed in the Affairs section of the Bathroom Bylaws for the Association of Women Working on the Second Floor.
Signed into Bylaws effective immediately on this seventh date of November, in the year two thousand eighteen.
Board of Directors for the Association of Women Working on the Second Floor: