af = as fuck

anb = as never before

aisi = as it sinks in

asot = as seen on Twitter

aavt = as a vengeful toddler

aarowosw = as a rusty old wad of steel wool

aarsbwbe = as a rancid sausage ball with bloodshot eyes

aadgoaw = as a drunk giraffe on a waterslide

aatfohaad = as a trolley full of Hitlers arguing about directions

aaflohiah = as a fresh-baked loaf of hell in a handbasket

atakwahi = as though anyone knows what a handbasket is

asahp = as soon as humanly possible