Actual Answers to the Question “What or Who Is the Greatest Love of Your Life?” That Were Not, to My Surprise, “You”

Teddy Wayne’s Unpopular Proverbs: Stupidity

Translated Thoughts and Questions That Are Running Through a North Korean Refugee’s Mind When He Is Awarded Political Asylum in the United States, Settles Down, Turns on the Television, and the First Thing He Sees Is a Fancy Feast Cat-Food Commercial

Actual Answers to Questions From a Reading Comprehension Booklet

Inevitable Questions from My Daughter, and How I Plan to Answer Them

We Are Wirecutter, and Last Winter We Sent Eighty-Six Reporters to Test Fifteen Hundred Artificial Christmas Trees. Twelve Haven’t Returned

Hungover Bear and Friends: Dream Big

Everything a Barber Could Do During a Haircut Before I Speak Up

Inflation Is High, So I’m Voting for Gork the Merciless