Sofa from the Pottery Barn Era

Worn down by grief. Originally created for three people, but typically used for one (or two with a hostile space in the middle).

Today’s estimated value: Your deepest fears.

Digital Wall Clock Crafted In the Office Depot Style.

Traditionally positioned behind the patient to ensure the session doesn’t run over. Not one minute over.

Today’s estimated value: Explaining how it makes you feel.

Assorted Artificial Succulents Imported from Pier 1

Originally intended to create a “calming yet funky” atmosphere, yet accomplish neither. To this day, their purpose remains a mystery.

Today’s estimated value: Your most bizarre fetish

Crochet Tissue Box Holder In the Shape of a House from the Hobby Lobby Period

The tissues serve as plumes of smoke from the chimney of the house, designed to make the acquisition of said tissues both arduous and farcical.

Today’s estimated value: Remembering you are not your mother

Silver-Plated Picture Frame Sourced from the Target Age

The photograph inside the frame can be dated back to a New Year’s Eve party in 2008, as evidenced by the ‘amusingly shaped’ glasses. Upon closer inspection, we may be able to pinpoint the husband. Possibly the solemn-looking one on the left.

Today’s estimated value: Committing to writing a dream journal

Set of Handmade Russian Nesting Dolls (Origin Unknown)

Degrading in quality as they decrease in size. Both confusing and mesmerizing in equal measure. Potentially a gift from a precocious niece.

Today’s estimated value: Repeating a positive affirmation to yourself and feeling worse after.

Master’s Degree from the Florida State Epoch

This piece is interestingly unmounted and is instead, precariously positioned against a bookcase. What’s more interesting is that this degree is in Animal Husbandry? What the fuck, Debra?!

Today’s estimated value: Admitting you use sex as a weapon