Archive

Coming Soon from the Roald Dahl Cinematic Universe

I Won’t Eat This Tofurky Unless I Can Shove Stuffing Up Its Asshole

Here Are Ten Facts About International Men’s Day, As I Solemnly Walk into the Ocean

Brandon, Our New “LET’S GO, BRANDON” Yard Sign Has Nothing to Do with Your Upcoming Spelling Quiz

Draco Malfoy’s College Recommendation Letter That I Totally Don’t Feel Conflicted About Writing Whatsoever

An Oral History of John Philip Sousa’s Band, the Hardest-Partying Eighty-Piece Marching Band Ever

Alas, Poor Yorick! I Knew Him, and He Would Be Fine with Me Touching His Skull Right Now

When My Two-Year-Old Daughter Backs Over Me in the Driveway, It’s the Cutest Thing in the World

I’m Captain Ahab and I Say We Must Never Transition Away from a Whale-Based Energy Industry

We Should Definitely Stop the Killer Asteroid, But First Let’s Figure Out Who Is Going to Get Rich from Saving Humanity

Bernie Sanders Double-Dog Dares Elon Musk to Sell His Stock

Poets and Scholars Eat on Zoom