“The phrase ‘Let’s go Brandon’ made its way into the US political discourse after a reporter misquoted a crowd chanting an obscenity about Biden, while talking with a Nascar racer. Since then, it’s been used in Republican campaign rallies, on the floor of Congress and even at a QAnon event.”— CNET, 11/16/21

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Your mother and I hope you ace the upcoming spelling quiz, Brandon. The whole family is cheering for you. Last week, you earned a sticker for getting nine out of ten right on the “-ouse” family of words quiz. Your third-grade teacher, Mrs. Preston, was impressed. We’re proud of you, son.

But our new yard sign, LET’S GO, BRANDON, well, that isn’t encouragement for you to do well on your next spelling quiz. That’s actually a dig on Biden. Yes, you’re right. Two years ago we did tell you that you should respect the president. That’s true, Brandon. Good memory.

But you see, this president—this unlawful president—well, he’s actually a lizard. Don’t give me that look. We’re not talking about Mrs. Merrick’s class pet here; I am talking about a lizard person from another planet. Which planet? Maybe Mars, who knows? Probably sent here to force us to drink lattes or something. I am not sure. But he is a lizard and we can’t just stand back and let a lizard tell us what to do.

Why does the sign say, LET’S GO? That’s a good observation, son. You see, the media is always twisting words around. Trying to suit their narrative. Now, what happened was some nice patriots were at a car race, and they were patriotically chanting a swear word. What word? Well, it’s probably best that I don’t tell you to be honest. It’s not a word that I would want you to repeat in this house. But they had a right, a duty you could say, to swear while a reporter—damn reporters—was interviewing the winner of the race.

That isn’t nice to the winner, you say? Well, it’s not nice to steal an election either. The point is, the media twisted those patriots’ words to make it seem like they weren’t swearing. When, in fact, they were swearing. Can you see how that makes a difference, Brandon? No matter what the media says, we can’t forget that they were chanting a terrible, awful word. That’s the point of the sign.

When people see the sign in our yard, will they know it’s about a swear word? I hope so, Brandon. Otherwise, I blew fifty dollars on a piece of cardboard. Is it “inappropriate” to have a sign that “alludes” to a swear word when our yard is in close “proximity” to a school? Am I concerned that the “vulgar” display is in “discordance” with the conservative family values “platform”? Do I lie awake at night wondering if the sign reflects a gross “misinterpretation” of even the most basic “tenets” of Jesus Christ’s teachings?

Whoa there, cowboy. Back it up. What’s that public school teaching you? For someone that spelled “house” correctly and “mouse” incorrectly, those are some big words, Brandon. Now, you’re too young to know this, but it’s yard signs like this that stand up for strong family values. Not just our family, but all the families in the community. Most of the families, anyway. Community values and all that. You get my point.

So the sign, while it’s not about you, it is for you. It’s just not—to be clear—about your upcoming spelling quiz.