Where did you get those plain white sneakers?
1. J.Crew’s New Balance collection
2. WalMart
3. “The WalMart”

What are you driving?
1. Honda Civic
2. Citi Bike
3. Log splitter I soldered myself

What’s your favorite Saturday brunch spot?
1. The IHOP in Bushwick
2. Neighborhood diner
3. Brunch? Grab a Hot Pocket and start raking.

What’s your go-to accessory?
1. Velcro wallet
2. Generic baseball cap
3. Gold chain with anchor charm, purchased at Tommy Bahama outlet

How are you styling your hair?
1. Classic crew
2. High and tight
3. Still growing out that man-perm your mom gave me

Where do you work?
1. Tech entrepreneur
2. Brand consultant
3. Retired (but not tired!) middle school science teacher/student council faculty rep

How long have you been rocking those dad jeans?
1. All year
2. Since 2012
3. Pants are really your mom’s department

Where did you find your glasses?
1. Warby Parker
2. Goodwill
3. LensCrafters (Transitions Lenses section)

Favorite curse?
1. Damn it
2. Darn it
3. Lord love a duck!

What’s on your mind?
1. The big game
2. Recycling
3. How could they kill that guy on The Good Wife? Your mom’s still upset about it—Are you just gonna stand here and ask questions while the lawn goes to pot? This is exactly what we get for paying your health insurance.