Always The Bridesmaid, never The Bride — first of all, the proper titles are Bridesmaids and The Princess Bride (no one refers to it as just “The Bride”), and it’s annoying how you always get to choose the movie in general, and even more annoying that, when I suggest we get a movie with the word “bride” in the title, you always pick the recent ensemble comedy that doesn’t improve on repeat viewings over the modern classic, which does. I’d add a sarcastic “As you wish,” but I’m in a really bad mood now. I don’t even feel like watching anything. Not even my favorite movie of all time, Father of the Bride Part II.

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NEW YORK: Come see Teddy Wayne, along with other McSweeney’s Internet Tendency contributors, at the launch party for The Best of McSweeney’s Internet Tendency tonight (2/19/14) at the Powerhouse Arena. 7 pm.