“You and I Are Confronting the Industrialized Wasteland Alone, and We Must Cling Together, for We Are Beset on All Sides by Inescapable Oblivion”

“I Have Deep-Seated Emotional Issues With My Father That Cannot Be Resolved Despite My Attempts to Communicate With Him in a Meaningful Fashion”

“You Were Once Attractive, but I Have Grown Weary of Your Company, Even Though I Have Not Forgotten That Previously We Had a Meaningful and Romantic Courtship”

“Vietnam Ruined My Life and the Lives of Those Close to Me”

“Vietnam Ruined My Life and the Lives of Those Close to Me”

“Vietnam Ruined My Life and the Lives of Those Close to Me”

“Vietnam Ruined My Life and the Lives of Those Close to Me”

“Vietnam Ruined My Life and the Lives of Those Close to Me”

“My Birth Certificate Bears the Seal of the United States of America, and, Additionally, Vietnam Ruined My Life and the Lives of Those Close to Me”