Leaning against the shower tiles

Perched on the toilet

Face down on the kitchen floor

Stopped at a red light

Stopped at a green light

Coasting through a busy intersection

One boob out in your pediatrician’s waiting room

On a park bench next to your open purse

Slumped over a screaming baby in the freezer aisle

Resting on top of the washing machine

Dipping your nose in your fourth cup of cold coffee

On the phone during a soliloquy on your best friend’s baby’s bowel movements

Other boob out in your pediatrician’s waiting room (second time this week!)

Topless in your lactation consultant’s waiting room

Scrolling Twitter in your therapist’s waiting room

Two seats away from your partner in your marriage counselor’s waiting room

Having two-minute “sex” while the baby snoozes

Face up on the bathroom floor

In the middle of asking the haggard woman in the hall mirror if she’s enjoying every moment