Fall is here, which means a new batch of young wannabe librarians will be starting graduate school in just a few days. If you happen to be starting library school, then this dispatch is for you.

Avoid cataloging classes; they will be pointless.

In papers that you write, cite papers your professors have published.

Take an internship or practicum.

Ninety percent of what your teachers teach you is theory that does you no good in the workplace; do your best to forget it after you leave school.

Ask your teacher why a public library uses the Dewey cataloging system as opposed to LOC, then doodle for the next three hours while they explain it.

Buy a laptop and play FreeCell during lectures.

Join ALA. It will make you feel important.

Libraries don’t do, librarians do.

Take online classes and have the cheap thrill of going to classes in the buff.

Two weeks working in a library will give you more experience than two years in graduate school.

Gain as much computer knowledge as humanly possible—this will put you ahead of so many other librarians.

Letters to the editor do not count as professional publications and will not impress the instructor.

I am sorry to say that you may find your stay in graduate school to be not very stimulating and quite a yawn, but the job that follows is quite the contrary.

If you ever want to vent your frustrations or need moral support, then by all means e-mail me.