Early on in my career as a librarian, someone told me about a dream they had about the library. I never wanted to have a dream about the place where I worked because it would prove that perhaps I thought way too much about my job. Alas, over the years, I too have experienced way too many dreams about work. Most are about being late for work or having a patron yell at me for some ridiculous reason, but some have proved a little too disturbing. Here are two of my more memorable library dreams (nightmares). If anyone is a dream expert, please let me know what’s wrong with me.

Dream One
A patron comes to me to make me aware of strange noises coming from the men’s restroom, which he believes are the sounds of copulation. I enter the restroom, and discover that indeed this is the case—a homeless man and woman are bumping and grinding against the inner linings of the wall urinal.

For those who instantly think this is an erotic dream, you are wrong; there is absolutely nothing erotic about this image—actually my eyes are closed in disgust as I tell them calmly that you cannot have sex in the restroom. They are courteous enough about the rule, and even say good day to me as I leave the library. When they leave the building, I wake up angry.

Dream Two
Gunshots are fired near the magazine racks. I see hundreds of people (seriously, it looks like a Godzilla movie) storming out of the library, and a madman, who I cannot see, fires several rounds. Bodies begin dropping, and I hide under the desk to the sound of screams. Gunman leaves the library, and I wake up.