Ruggles: Puli, named by the kids. Tolerates (barely) their “Ruggles snuggles.”

Wonderland: Retired greyhound.

Amory: Papillon whose owner does not know how to spell “amore.” Or “Papillon.”

Kendall: Afghan hound with her own Instagram.

Chelsea: Pomeranian with her own Instagram. Has beef with Kendall.

Charles: Border Collie who has his own chair at the table. Seems to understand more English than he lets on.

Davis: Husky who only howls in the Dorian mode.

JFK: Yellow Lab. Has visited Martha’s Vineyard more times than you have.

Wellington: English Cream Golden Retriever. Has spent more hours on a yacht than you have.

Maverick: Doberman. Has enough flight hours to get his pilot’s license.

Bowdoin: Maine Coon cat. Not a dog, but like a dog, in the same way Bowdoin is like a “little Ivy.”

Quincy Adams: Boston Terrier whose collar incorporates a cravat.

Milton: English Bulldog. English department dog at a small liberal arts college. Blame his ignominious flatulence on canine original sin.

Coolidge: St. Bernard. History department dog. Never barks.

Chiswick: Dalmatian. Frat dog who drinks beer out of a dog dish.

Magoun: Newfoundland who drinks beer out of the can.

Porter: Black Lab who drinks beer out of an engraved pint glass.

Kenmore: Senior Basset Hound. Living life in a perpetual slow zone.

Griggs: Stray dog. Just showed up one day. Seemed like a Griggs.

Fenway: You already know five or more dogs named this.