When life gives you lemons, take those miracle fruit tablets that cause sour foods to taste sweet, then prepare a banquet of other acidic foods for your yuppie friends who are otherwise too timidly bourgeois to do drugs but are covertly bored with their conformity, and eat the lemons and grapefruit and vinegar and exclaim how they all taste so sweet, then when it’s finished, everyone should help clean up and politely thank the host for inviting them and leave at an appropriate time so no one’s tired for work the next day.
SETLISTS FOR YOUNG VOICES
The auction is live! Bid now on signed setlists by Janelle Monae, REM, Wilco, Patti Smith, Mitski, and other great musicians to help support youth-writing centers around the world. Click here for more info and to make a bid.
December 23, 2009
As little as $1 a month ($12 a year!) goes a long way towards supporting our editorial staff and contributors while keeping us ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.