Let’s talk tofurkey.

We had a whale of a time, unless that particular whale happens to be getting illegally harpooned by a boatload of murderous Japanese fishermen. If that’s the case, then we just had fun—as much fun as civilized people can have with all the killing going on.

It’s a dog-eat-soy-based-food-substance-shaped-into-the-form-of-a-dog world.

Holy cow. Seriously, they’re deities.

Running around like a chicken with its head full of hope and possibilities now that everyone has become a vegan.

So hungry I could eat a horse. What? Sometimes I just crave a burger. Is that so unforgivable?