The Police — The Firemen

Foo Fighters — Foo Non-Violent Conflict Resolvers

Grateful Dead — Grateful We Got On the Right Dose of Antidepressants Before We’re Dead

Maroon 5 — Maroon 4 Because That One Guy Was Actually Super Toxic

The Jesus and Mary Chain — Jesus and Mary Are No Longer Chained to Gender Norms

The Killers — The Weaponized Incompetence Killers

Tom Waits — Tom Waits for Women to Finish Talking Without Interrupting Them

The Allman Brothers — Not All Men But Enough of Them Brothers

Red Hot Chili Peppers — Evenly Tempered Chili Peppers

Sting — It Stings When You Ignore My Feelings

The Rolling Stones — The Ethically Non-Monogamous Stones

Ween — Now We Know Not to Take Out Our Ween When No One Asked for It

The Strokes — The No Longer Need Ego Strokes

Steely Dan — Emotionally Available Dan

Kings of Leon — Democratically Elected Leaders of Leon

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band — Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band