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Articles by
Bobbie Armstrong
Bobbie Armstrong is a former child and current broke college student originally from New Jersey. Her work has appeared on Metiza, The Belladonna Comedy, and her parents’ fridge.
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November 23, 202033 Everyday Tasks That Are Easier with a Penis
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November 10, 2020A Dead Man in Michigan Voted Four Million Times, and We Will Have Proof of That Sometime in the Next Few Weeks or Months or So
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September 9, 2020The Revolution Will Not Be Televised; It Will Be Broken Down Into Ten-Minute Increments and Streamed On Quibi
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July 17, 2020I Am a Pair of Eddie Bauer Cargo Shorts, and I Have a Tasteful Number of Pockets
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January 22, 2020I Turned My Passion Into My Dream Job and Now I Sell Small Hats to Iguanas On Instagram
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January 9, 2019Sally Sells Seashells By the Seashore Because the Government Is Shut Down and She Isn’t Getting a Paycheck
Trending 🔥
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August 24, 2020Frog and Toad Tentatively Go Outside After Months In Self-Quarantine
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November 11, 2020Say “Megan Follows Is the Best Anne of Green Gables” or I’ll Beat the Living Shit Out of You
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November 12, 2020Meet Olivia! The COVID-19-Era American Girl Doll
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November 16, 2020Notes for the Graphic Designer of the American One Dollar Bill
Recently
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November 25, 2020Quotes from My Mother About 2020’s Thanksgiving Dinner, Except Also from Albert Camus’s The Plague
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November 24, 2020
Shop Locally This Holiday Season. Please Don’t Give More Money to Amazon -
November 24, 2020How to Tell Your Parents You’re Not Coming Home for the Holidays Without Quoting from Harry Chapin’s “Cat’s in the Cradle”
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November 24, 2020Wait, This Hand Turkey Fucks