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Articles by
Bobbie Armstrong
Bobbie Armstrong is a former child. She has written for Weekly Humorist, Defenestration Magazine, Belladonna Comedy, Slackjaw, and her parents’ fridge.
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September 29, 2022I’m Not Like Other Fascists
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September 21, 2022Welcome to Our Cul-De-Sac
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May 20, 2022Babies Need to Pull Themselves Up by Their Tiny Bootstraps
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March 23, 2022Apply for This Apartment in Thirty-One Easy Steps
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March 2, 2022We’re Protecting Children by Criminalizing Parents Who Try to Keep Them Happy and Healthy
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February 4, 2022Odyssey Cruise Lines Now Offering Competitive Rate of $21 an Hour for a Ten-Year Adventure
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February 1, 2022Other Quotes GOP Congressmen Wrongly Attributed to Philosophers
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January 20, 2022You Can’t Accuse Us of Restricting the Voting Rights of Black Americans If We Aren’t Counting Them as Americans
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January 6, 2022Low-Skilled, Easily Replaceable Employees Must Return to Work Immediately, Otherwise Our Society Will Collapse
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November 10, 2021Advertising Clients: What They Say vs. What They Mean
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October 28, 2021We Cannot Refer to These Victims of Murder as Victims of Their Own Murder
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October 20, 2021It Would Be Un-American to Support Legislation That Doesn’t Directly Benefit Me
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September 22, 2022It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 20, 2022Should I Bring Anything to the Dinner Tonight or Just My Crippling Anxiety?
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September 15, 2022We Are a Picturesque Small Town and We Refuse to Be the Setting for Your Romantic Comedy
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September 29, 2022Template for White People Outraged Over Lizzo Playing James Madison’s Flute
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October 7, 2022A Short Biography of Gudrid Thorbjarnardóttir for Bostonians
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October 6, 2022Where Are All the Women on This Alt-Right, Anti-Choice, Toxic Masculinity Dating App?
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October 6, 2022Modes of Transportation I Trust More Than Tesla’s Self-Driving Cars
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