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Articles by
Bobbie Armstrong
Bobbie Armstrong is a former child. She has written for Weekly Humorist, Defenestration Magazine, Belladonna Comedy, Slackjaw, and her parents’ fridge.
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March 1, 2021How to Succeed At Apologizing for Sexual Harassment Without Really Trying
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February 26, 2021As a Staunch Defender of American Liberty, I Refuse to Let Trans People Infringe on My Rights as a White, Straight, Cisgender Congresswoman from Georgia
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February 2, 2021I Am Dr. Frankenstein, and I Condemn the Actions of the Monster I Created and Did Nothing to Stop
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January 4, 2021Please, Sir, I Want 11,780 More Votes
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December 14, 2020You Can’t Call Yourself a Woman Until a Man Has Written a Wall Street Journal Op-Ed on Why You Don’t Deserve the Title You’ve Earned
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December 3, 2020Even Though We Have Done Nothing Wrong, I, Vito Corleone, Am Pardoning My Entire Family
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December 1, 2020Let Me Teach You How to Teach Other People How to Teach Other People How to Freelance
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November 23, 202033 Everyday Tasks That Are Easier with a Penis
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November 10, 2020A Dead Man in Michigan Voted Four Million Times, and We Will Have Proof of That Sometime in the Next Few Weeks or Months or So
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September 9, 2020The Revolution Will Not Be Televised; It Will Be Broken Down Into Ten-Minute Increments and Streamed On Quibi
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July 17, 2020I Am a Pair of Eddie Bauer Cargo Shorts, and I Have a Tasteful Number of Pockets
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January 22, 2020I Turned My Passion Into My Dream Job and Now I Sell Small Hats to Iguanas On Instagram
Trending 🔥
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February 19, 2021I’m a Short Afternoon Walk and You’re Putting Way Too Much Pressure on Me
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February 22, 2021The UX on this Small Child Is Terrible
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February 24, 2021I Oppose the Democrats’ Plan to Lower Child Poverty. If Kids Want to Eat, They Should Work In Filthy Factories Like They Did in the Good Old Days
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February 16, 2021How to Write About Iran: A Guide for Journalists, Analysts, and Policymakers
Recently
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March 3, 2021It’s Me, Your Former Junior High School Bully, and I’m Sorry to Inform You That Karma Hasn’t Caught Up With Me Yet
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March 2, 2021A Graduate School Rejection Letter As Written by My Anxiety Disorder at 3 AM
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March 2, 2021Literary Alternatives to Social Distancing
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March 2, 2021Christopher CrossFit FAQs