ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Bobbie Armstrong
Bobbie Armstrong is a copywriter and humor writer in New York City. She’s probably taking a nap right now.
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February 1, 2022Other Quotes GOP Congressmen Wrongly Attributed to Philosophers
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January 20, 2022You Can’t Accuse Us of Restricting the Voting Rights of Black Americans If We Aren’t Counting Them as Americans
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January 6, 2022Low-Skilled, Easily Replaceable Employees Must Return to Work Immediately, Otherwise Our Society Will Collapse
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November 10, 2021Advertising Clients: What They Say vs. What They Mean
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October 28, 2021We Cannot Refer to These Victims of Murder as Victims of Their Own Murder
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October 20, 2021It Would Be Un-American to Support Legislation That Doesn’t Directly Benefit Me
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September 2, 2021As Republicans, We Believe the Right to Life Extends from Conception Until Birth
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August 16, 2021The Geometric Hall of Shame
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July 23, 2021Summer in New York in an Increasingly Hot Climate Is Not a Good Enough Reason to Bare Your Shoulders in Public
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July 20, 2021Our System Here at the Ministry of Magic Is Alive and Well
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July 6, 2021I Did Nothing But Smoke Weed for Six Months, and Now I’m an Olympic Athlete
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June 25, 2021Getting Rid of the Filibuster Will Put the Senate in the Terrible Position of Having to Pass Legislation
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July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
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July 12, 2024Schedule of Speakers for the 2024 Republican National Convention
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July 16, 2024Hillbilly Elegy Edited for J. D. Vance’s Vice Presidential Campaign
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May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
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July 26, 2024I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and If Trump and Vance Win I’m Going to Start a Sexual Relationship with My Couch
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July 26, 2024Skills You Need as President of the United States or Skills You Need as a Stepmom?
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July 26, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Tolerated the Cynics
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July 26, 2024We Went Ahead and Made an AI Olympian