“Sara, You Should Smile More”

Baby hair with a woman’s eyes (but not in a creepy way)
You can feel me watching you in the night
All alone with me and we’re waiting for your Uber (his name is Derek—4.93 stars)

Sara, you should smile more
Oh, won’t you smile until your Uber arrives, Sara

If you feel like leaving, you know you can go take the E
But why don’t you stay until tomorrow?
If you wanna be free
You know all you gotta do is call the NYPD

“Upper-Middle-Class Girl”

You’re an upper-middle-class girl, and you’ve gone too far
’Cause you need to take your Lexapro
You can’t rely on the old man’s money
You can’t rely on the old man’s money (he finally cut you off)

Rent’s a bitch girl, but it’s gone too far
’Cause you know it matters to your landlord
Say money, but it won’t get you too far (your checking is overdrawn)
Get you too far (maybe Williamsburg)


She’ll only come out at night (but also in the morning and really all other times of the day)
The unwashed and “literally so starving” type
Nothing is new, I’ve seen her here before (literally every night, doesn’t she have better things to do, or a stove?)
Watching TikToks and waiting for her everything bagel

She’s sitting with you, but her eyes are on the floor
Oh no, there’s a rat
Hang on, let me get a broom.

Oh, here she comes
Watch out, finance guy, she’ll chew you up
Oh, here she comes
She’s a bagel-eater

I wouldn’t if I were you, I know what she can do
(Eat a sickening amount of bagels, for one)
She’s deadly, man, and she could really rip your plain bagel apart
Mind over brain matter
The beauty isn’t there, but she’s also clinically insane

Oh, she’s a bagel-eater

“Out of Touch (With Life in the Rest of America)”

Shaking it up by going to Bushwick is all we know
Using Hinge dates up as we go
I’m waking up to fantasy (of affordability)
The shades all around aren’t the colors we used to see
Need a new prescription from Warby Parker

I’m out of touch
And also out of time (four-hundred-dollar improv class across town)
But I’m out of my head when you’re not around
To remind me how boring the rest of America must be

Reaching out for something to hold on the G
Looking for a love where the climate is cold (East Village at 4 a.m.)
Manic searching on StreetEasy and drowsy suburban dreams
Or living in the middle of two extremes
(Upper East Side and Upper West Side)

Oh oh oh oh oh
I need to date someone with New York financial stability
(500K and up)

“You Make My Dreams Come True (Oat Milk Latte)”

What I want, you’ve got (barista)
And it might be hard to handle
But like the beans that make the espresso
The espresso fills the latte (iced, please)
What I’ve got’s full stock of anxiety and depression
You make them disappear
And how, I can’t explain (I work in marketing)

Well, cause you (barista)
You make my dreams come true
Well, well, well, you (barista)
You make my dreams come true
Listen to this
I’m lactose intolerant