“Many of the headlines have read that [Jeffrey Epstein] is accused of ‘sex with underage women.’ Really? Why are we whitewashing? Why are we not calling it what it is? Rape of children. Trafficking of children. This man and many of his ‘friends’ were allegedly raping children for their amusement.” — Holly Richardson, Salt Lake Tribune
Do underage women enjoy going on dates?
Absolutely! Playdates are a great way to help underage women learn and practice basic social skills.
Can underage women talk?
By the time most underage women turn one year old, they’ll begin using short, expressive phrases like, “no touch” and “uh-oh!”. (Note: many underage women will continue to say phrases like “no touch” and “uh-oh” well into adulthood.)
What’s it mean when an underage woman is fussy and uncomfortable?
It’s possible that the underage woman had a bad day at school, or needs her diaper changed. The more likely scenario is that she wants you to leave her alone.
What do underage women do for fun?
Younger underage women enjoy playing with stuffed animals. Some older underage women enjoy playing with stuffed animals, too. Food for thought.
What are underage women most afraid of?
Depends. Younger underage women think monsters live under their beds. Older underage women are afraid of everything from missing curfew, to taking pre-calc, to navigating dangerous interactions with predatory adults.
What kind of physical activities do underage women engage in?
Recommended physical activities for underage women include tee ball (this helps underage women develop hand-eye coordination), gymnastics (underage women love the foam pits!) and running, which provides great practice for running away from those who intend to sexually assault them.
If I’m not underage, can I date an underage woman on the grounds that underage women will eventually become women?
No. There’s a reason why we have strict laws against people practicing law before they’ve passed the bar exam, killing people because everyone eventually dies anyway, or dating kids who will one day be adults.
If I’m not underage, can I date an underage woman who seems like an adult woman?
Would you also be okay with letting 15-year-old boys vote, join the military, or date 45-year-olds?
Is it possible to have sex with an underage woman?
Sex with underage women doesn’t exist. It’s called rape.
Is it possible to have sex with an underage woman whom I’m attracted to, and who I think might be attracted to me?
She isn’t attracted to you, and that’s still rape.
Let’s just talk about older underage women. Where do they hang out?
The same places your children hang out.
What kind of guys are older underage women into?
The kinds of guys with braces.
Braces? What kinds of braces?
The kind that goes on children’s teeth, not on middle-aged men’s arthritic knees.
What if I have a fancy, well-paying job?
There’s a solid chance she already gets an allowance from her parents. If you work with either of her parents, perhaps you could ask if they give their daughter an allowance.
It’s starting to sound like underage women are children. What’s the difference between underage women and children?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
So, if I’m attracted to an underage woman…?
You are attracted to a child.
And what’s the difference between underage men and children?
No clue. I’ve never heard the phrase “underage men.”