Welcome to 216 months (18 years)

Your child is now the size of a full grown adult. A 216-month old’s world is filled with marathon TV viewing on various live streaming services, graduations, proms, college acceptances, independent travel, and the inability to pay for anything. Despite your child being old enough to vote, they can still throw an occasional tantrum. Most children are sexually active by this age. Please be sure to teach them how to plan for safe sexual encounters, so you aren’t accidentally raising another child. If this does happen, have them subscribe to the BabyCenter updates on fetal development.

Your Life Now

Watching your child’s newly discovered independence can make some parents focus on their own aging process. It’s not unusual to question if it’s still appropriate for a parent of an adult child to attend music festivals, sport witty graphic tees, or lose sleep because they were playing video games. Don’t be alarmed if once your child has moved out, your partner asks you to move out as well. This is normal behavior for many empty nesters that might embrace this new period by reconfiguring their marital arrangements.

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Welcome to 300 months (25 years old)

Congratulations! Your child’s frontal lobe is fully developed. 300-month-olds like to express themselves through tattoo art and opinionated conversations.

This is a stage in their development where they consider a move back home. There are strategies to alleviate this process, like charging them market price rent or downsizing to a place with limited space. Be wary about offering advice to your three-hundred-month-old on how to plan for the future, they might be resistant to these conversations.

Your Life Now

This is a tricky time for some parents who might be acclimating to their recent change in marital status. To avoid awkward overlap with your children, be sure to set your age restrictions on your dating apps to a couple a years older than your youngest child. If you do see one of their friends, be smart and swipe left. Despite your child being an adult, you are still their parent and have the ability to inflict emotional damage on them, always remember they aren’t your friends. If they were your friends they probably wouldn’t be living rent-free in your home and ignoring your texts.

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Welcome to 360 months (30 years old)

A major highlight of being 360 months old is the idea of partnership. No more parallel play, they are ready to start to build solid foundations with a special friend. There might be a wedding or other ceremony to celebrate your child’s relationship in the near future. At this point, your 360-month-old should be settling into their gig economy career and are only 10 or 15 years away from paying off their student debt. Organic foods are preferred for this age, and brunch is their favorite meal of the day.

Your Life Now

Your child’s upcoming wedding might add some stress to your life, especially if they want you to pay for it. This is the time when you are saving for retirement and worrying if your children’s motivated friends might replace you in your job or be hired as your boss. Try to relax and enjoy this time period. Don’t judge the gig economy, instead embrace it to help pay for your child’s wedding.

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Welcome to 480 months (40 years old)

Your child might be a parent now and they will finally realize the joys of parenthood and the beauty of having grandparents. At this age, they are keen on sending pictures of their children and posting your grandchildren’s accomplishments on social media. A 480-month-old has limited time due to the obligations of work and family and will happily reach out when they are in need of childcare.

Your Life Now

This is time to sit your child down and go through the file you recently made which contains your will and other documents that will be helpful to them when you pass. During this period, many parents discover a love of cruise ship vacations. A favorite activity is showing friends pictures of your grandchildren on the smartphone your child forced you to purchase and your grandchild set up for you.

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Welcome to 600 months (50 years old)

At this stage, children need glasses for reading. Your female child will stop producing estrogen, which makes them a little testy. By 600 months, many adult male children have lost portions of their hair and some need medication when engaging in sexual activities.

Your Life Now

Since you’re the type of person who forgot to unsubscribe from this BabyCenter email, there’s a strong possibility you might need to hit-up your child, or perhaps a grandchild, for money. If not, there is an even stronger possibility your child will ask you to help pay for their child’s college.

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Welcome to 720 months (60 years old)

A 720-month old is at a stage in their development where they might be thinking of taking a break from work and slowing down. Many 720-month olds conversations revolve around Blue Zone diets, stabilizing cholesterol levels, the general annoyance surrounding colonoscopy preparation, and other age-related subject matter. Some children might become grandparents at this stage.

Your Life Now

If you’re lucky you might be in an assisted-living facility and have lived to see your great-grandchildren. If so, congrats and stop worrying about your child, they are old enough to take care of themselves and, hopefully, they are taking care of you, too.