Thank you for shopping at MayBe. We often hear that our sizing and fit guide is complex, upsetting, and nonsensical. To mitigate any confusion, we’ve answered some of the most common questions from our customers.

Q. What sizes do you offer?

A. MayBe offers a large swath of sizes that might fit all bodies. Our shirt sizes range from XS to M, our pant sizes range from 00 to 6, and our dresses and rompers are some weird combination of both. Plus sizes are available, but you must sign up for our daily newsletter to determine when they’re added to our biennial sale section. Generally, our sizes are based on US measurements, but we aspire to be UK measurements.

Q. Do you have models that show a wide range of sizes?

A. Of course. We live our inclusive beliefs. Every item of clothing is photographed with a thin, white model who’s 5′10″, wears a size XS, and has idealized, boyish measurements. We also include a single image of a plus-size Black model wearing clothing from a different brand.

Q. How do you determine your sizes for dresses and rompers?

A. Honestly? We have no idea.

Q. Do you find your sizes are universal?

A. Maybe? Our shirts are modeled after our underpaid, twenty-two-year-old fashion intern from two years ago. Our pants are modeled after our CEO’s twelve-year-old daughter, and our dresses and rompers are modeled after our buyer’s favorite Cabbage Patch Kids doll. So, if you consider “universal sizing” as “clothing based on the hyper-specific measurements of someone you’ve never met,” then yes, our sizing is universal.

Q: Does your clothing support a wide variety of body shapes?

A: Our clothing kind of works for people who are shaped like pineapple rings, lightly bruised dragon fruits, pre-cut star fruits, and rambutans.

Q. What’s a standard fit?

A. Our standard fit is standard to our particular sizing specifications. We recommend sizing up if you want a more standard fit.

Q. What’s a relaxed fit?

A. Relaxed, but we recommend sizing up if you want a true relaxed fit.

Q. What’s a cozy fit?

A. More relaxed than our standard fit, but slightly less relaxed than our relaxed fit. Imagine sitting on a cozy couch with blankets, hot tea, and a roaring fire beside you. Then imagine the sweater you’re wearing is almost perfect and almost fits you. It rides up your back and the sleeves are just a little too tight, so you’re always slightly cold. That’s our signature cozy fit.

Q. Okay, but there’s a shirt I want, and the model has it tied around her waist and is bent over like she’s about to vomit?

A. That shirt is primarily designed to be tied around your waist while sick.

Q. Who’s wearing clothing like that?

A. Our models.

Q. Do you have any photos where the models aren’t hiding the clothing?

A. No.

Q. Are your photos always poorly lit so we can’t see the colors?

A. Yes. Our color nomenclature is vague and nonsensical. Is it red? Who knows.

Q. Is there an easy return policy?

A. If you’re at all unhappy with your purchase, simply take five vertical pictures of you wearing the clothes. Then, share your photos in your Instagram story and tag us. We’ll pop into your DMs with a link to a twenty-question survey so we can get a better idea about why you’re returning your items. From there, one of our amazing customer service reps will give you a call and review your results through an intensive interview process based on your previous job experience. If you pass, you can return your clothing for $19.99 through your local DHL store. All returned items must be received within twenty-four hours of mailing, or the package will be incinerated upon delivery, and you’ll be charged its full price.

Q: What if I fail the interview portion?

A: You’ll be asked to keep your clothing and receive a lifetime ban from shopping at MayBe and any associated retailers.

Thank you for choosing MayBe for your clothing purchase. We hope it all somewhat fits.