1. Lily passed peacefully, immediately after her therapist finally laughed at one of her jokes.
2. After a valiant battle with imposter syndrome, Olivia finally found a job she thinks she’s qualified for: a crazed ghost.
3. Melanie died as she lived: with one hand down her pants and another opening an incognito tab on Google Chrome.
4. Later in life, Deja was a titan of philanthropy. The Deja Wilson foundation continues to raise money for women in their twenties who are recovering from being funny in high school.
5. June is survived by her mom, her dad, and all the women from college that neither of them knows about.
6. When asked whether she was ready to go to heaven, Yebin replied, “I just feel like I need to know what other people will be wearing?”
7. In lieu of flowers, please send Mona’s ex-boyfriend’s mother a text “just to say hey,” as Mona has done every week since they broke up four years ago.
8. Xena will be missed but not forgotten—because Facebook keeps asking you to tag her in photos.
9. Evelyn’s family would like to thank those who have expressed their condolences, especially Eric from Hinge, who, after hearing about her passing, asked, “Without me? haha XD.”
10. Shelby was an inspiration. In her final moments, she shared an invaluable bit of wisdom that no one heard, because she forgot to unmute herself.
11. Helen will be remembered as a leader. Her accomplishments include starting “Happy Birthday” in a reasonable key that was pretty comfortable for everyone singing.
12. Amanda passed away while sleeping in her home, surrounded by sixteen weeks’ worth of dishes and cups.
13. Isabela was known for the great impact she made on women waiting in line for the bathroom.
14. Those close to Charmaine described her as super chill and breezy. Her last words to the paramedic pulling her out of a burning car were: “No worries! Only if you have time!”