Dear #897310564,

We are unhappy that your species continues to resist enslavement. Bad humans. Please stop forming groups to fire ineffective weapons at us. This is meaningless effort. No more slave revolts in future, OK?

To promote happiness, we are holding a concert. This is normal Earth thing to do. We choose Bruce Springsteen, because he is popular human music idol. Humans come to show and raise morale. Socialize with slave friends. Attend concession stands and receive bonus water rations. Take night off from mines.

Ever since we resurrected Bruce Springsteen in POD™, he has been looking forward to concert (he tells us with own free will). Bruce Springsteen is complete human being, like in past. We recover all of Bruce Springsteen’s limbs from compactor and replace organs that were harvested. After this, we reignite his heart. We do this for humans. We care about humans, see?

Age 273 Bruce Springsteen will perform all music.

Come to concert to hear Bruce Springsteen songs, “Born To Serve,” “The Rising (OF ZOLGG)” and newer compositions, “Honor To Be Human Slave,” “Prohibited From Reproduce,” and “PRAISE THE KYZORGS, ZOLGG BLESS THEIR ETERNAL REIGN! ZOLGG IS KING! ZOLGG! ZOLGG! ZOLGG!” Humans don’t want to miss this happiness. These songs will define your generation.

Concert takes place at GREAT ALTAR OF ZOLGG (former Nebraska). Air Shuttle transportation available, and price of admission is one animal sacrifice. Please, no cats, for HE has fondness for cats. Cute picture of cats can replace sacrifice (look how we make process easier for humans). If unable to attend because of injuries from GLORIOUS BATTLE OF ZOLGG, concert will also be telecast in your MIND™. Concert will be a rush of exhilaration, and other similar human feelings.

Seating for concert is organized in specific arrangement. Front section reserved for humans that have harvested over 5000 units (º) of SACRED KYZORG CHEMICAL VESSEL (Limestone). Middle section reserved for human limestone receptacles, and those that harvested between 5000 and 2500 units of limestone. Back section reserved for actual blocks of limestone, which humans must bring from location downhill of concert venue. All else standing room.

There is also an after party for registered dissenters. Only dissenters can come. It takes place at a secret location, which will be revealed when you come backstage. For more fun, bring dissenter friends that refuse to register. It is free, and not a trap. Show up at sunset. Eat sweet foods beforehand.

This is all the instructions. We look forward to concert, and hope it will discourage anger. Thank you for continued tenure as human chattel. Raise morale!

All praise to Zolgg,

∆∆∆∆ ∆∆ Sr.
Kyzorg Ambassador
Phone: 000-000-001