“It’s no secret that I oppose eliminating the Senate’s 60-vote threshold… If anyone expected me to reverse my position because my party now controls the Senate, they should know that my approach to legislating in Congress is the same whether in the minority or majority.” —Sen. Kyrsten Sinema

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It’s no secret that I have always opposed eliminating the filibuster. I have never been shy about the fact that even during my three terms in the House I opposed eliminating the filibuster. I have always been a staunch supporter of bipartisanship. In fact, my first word was bipartisanship. My second word was “boosting American manufacturing.”

We have more to lose than gain from ending the thing that is preventing us from gaining anything at all. Did that make sense to you?

As a senator from the great state of Arizona, I put the bi in bipartisan. Fun, right? I just thought of that. Here’s the problem, forcing the Senate to do the one thing they were designed to do is cruel and, honestly, makes me feel very awkward. Forcing the Senate to pass legislation is like forcing a horse wearing blinders, amped up and already in the starting gate, to race in the Kentucky Derby.

Eliminating the filibuster and thereby forcing the Senate to pass legislation is animal abuse.

Why can’t we just keep doing what we’ve been doing and let the Supreme Court make all our legislative decisions for us? It’s working fine so far. If we get rid of the filibuster and pass sweeping voting legislation, we risk that legislation being rolled back in a few years. If we keep the filibuster in place, there will be no legislation passed to roll back in the first place.

Democrats have used the filibuster in the past to prevent inadequate legislation from passing. Republicans have used it for equally valid reasons, like proving to their political base that they are committed to squashing any and all legislation the other party proposes. If that’s not true democracy, I don’t know what is.

No, I truly don’t know what true democracy is. Are people’s votes supposed to result in actual laws being passed? Wild. I am joining the long tradition of politicians and Joe Manchin by writing a nonsensical op-ed that makes my argument look even more spurious. Whatever happens, we must work together to ensure that we continue to be so gridlocked we make the Los Angeles DMV look like a well-oiled machine.

The truth is, the Senate has been severely constipated since 2006. The Senate is broken, and the only solution is prescription-strength MiraLax. The swamp in Washington doesn’t need to be drained; it needs a decade-long enema. Shall I continue this metaphor?

The only solution to this problem is to filibuster the filibuster.