Your connection Mark Goldman has endorsed you! Spend ten seconds struggling to remember who he is before giving up and reciprocating the endorsement.

Richard Wilson’s new job, and other updates, and you’ve already deleted this haven’t you.

Congratulations, we’ve successfully imported your contacts from Gmail! You innocently clicked Add Connections and we are now in possession of every address you’ve ever mailed.

An Older Gentleman You Contacted In 2006 About A Used Corolla has accepted your invitation.

Rita Simmons has indicated that you are a colleague. She reviles you sexually.

Your Former Boss endorsed you for the following skills: Cowardice, Betrayal.

Anthony, Brian and 6 others checked your profile. Build up the courage to investigate if one of those 6 others is a possible romantic match, but don’t investigate too deeply, because we remember that shit and we will tell everyone.

You are now connected with He Who Will Ruin You If You Do Not Accept.

Join LinkedIn Premium to see what employers are saying about your weird hairline!