Remark to all people you come in contact with how beautiful it is out and they will respond, “I know.” Immediately following the exchange all parties look down at a weather app to see when it will be safe to complain about the heat and humidity and/or return of snow after an 81-degree afternoon.

Call irrigation company to turn on sprinklers. As soon as they arrive note the beginning of a three-day rainstorm centered over your house.

Call mosquito and tick control company to prevent bites and simultaneously your ability to send the children outside for fear of toxic chemicals.

Decide to start day drinking because you’re fucking done with your children being inside your house all weekend.

Commit to cleaning out the garage and quit when you find a wasp nest that sprang up overnight.

Think about organizing the entry-way closet and putting away coats and boots, but think better of it. You might need them all summer and fall is just around the corner.

Head to a garden store and commit to murdering four varieties of plants you didn’t try last year. Ask about which fertilizer to buy, painfully listen to the garden enthusiast talk you through how to properly fertilize, and when you arrive home place it gently next to the bag you didn’t use last year because you forgot what the hell to do with it.

Join a CSA despite knowing that you are going to shamefully throw out a lot of bok choy.

Swear to friends and family that you are going to move to Los Angeles so you can enjoy weather like this year-round while having no intention to actually seek employment in Los Angeles. They agree you should all move, because why does anyone bother to live in New England anyway?

Hit the trails to enjoy the sunshine and flowering trees and new growth. Breathe in the beautiful smells and sights of the awakening earth, and when your eyes swell up from pollen allergies immediately run home to haul your shitty window AC units up from the basement and wait for the worst to come.