“As a physician, I’ve been in the room when there’s some difficult conversations happening. I don’t want the federal government involved with [abortion], at all… I want women, doctors, [and] local political leaders.” — Dr. Mehmet Oz, Republican running for US Senate seat from Pennsylvania, 10/25/2022

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Hello, I’m a Republican politician, and I want to make one thing very clear: I don’t want government involved in decisions about abortion. Instead, I want government involved in decisions about abortion.

If that’s confusing, let me put it this way: I think it’s despicable for politicians to have a say in the very personal, difficult decisions millions of women are forced to make every year. This is why I believe, as an alternative, politicians should have a say in the very personal, difficult decisions millions of women are forced to make every year.

A lot of folks seem to think that I’m contradicting myself, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. All I am saying is this: just because someone has been elected to office, that doesn’t mean they get to decide what’s best for pregnant people. And I promise that if you elect me to office, I, personally, will decide what’s best for pregnant people.

Maybe getting more specific will help: I don’t want the federal government getting involved in decisions about abortion—I want state government doing that. In fact, the smaller the better! I’d much prefer if each town’s local board would get final say in decisions about abortion. Actually, come to think of it, we should go even smaller: every single individual person should make their own decision about their own abortion. Wait. No. Shit. I went too small. Not that small! Forget I said that. Back to the town boards, please.

I truly believe that the fastest way to lose our freedom as Americans is if we let our government oversee our most private decisions. This is why I believe we need to let our government oversee our most private decisions.

Look, at the end of the day, you have a choice to make—a choice between electing me, or electing someone who will let you keep making your own choices. So, in the days leading up to the election, remember this: if you don’t want the government involved in your choices, we could, instead, get the government involved in those choices.