ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Eli Grober
Eli is the author of the satirical essay collection This Won’t Help, listed on the New Yorker’s “Best Books We Read This Week.” He writes the humor newsletter Here’s Something.
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May 31, 2024HELP PROVE I DID NOTHING WRONG BY SENDING ME MONEY IMMEDIATELY
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March 29, 2024Hi, I’m Jesus, and When I Get Back, I Want All the Eggs Hidden
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December 6, 2023Answering Questions at the Climate Summit After My Speech in Support of Oil World
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October 24, 2023We Must Give Equal Airtime to the Democratic Incumbent and the Guy Who Wants Everyone to Drink Their Own Piss
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September 7, 2023For Just Forty Hours a Week of Intense Work Outside Your Full-Time Job, You Too Can Make Passive Income
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June 9, 2023HELP PROVE I’M INNOCENT BY SENDING ME MONEY IMMEDIATELY
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April 3, 2023Oh, Great, Now Every Politician Has to Be Super Careful Not to Commit Crimes
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March 1, 2023How Can We Afford to Bail Out Student Loan Borrowers When We Can Barely Afford to Bail Out the Entire Airline Industry, Citigroup, Bank of America, AIG, Bear Stearns, Chrysler, and Then the Entire Airline Industry Again?
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January 4, 2023Congratulations on Making It to 2023, the Final Year
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December 15, 2022I Believe in Free Speech, So Long as I Get to Change What Free Speech Means to Whatever I Want
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November 11, 2022Introducing Mr. Musk’s Cure-All Company Elixir
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October 27, 2022I Don’t Want Government Involved in Decisions About Abortion. Instead, I Want Government Involved in Decisions About Abortion
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July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
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July 12, 2024Schedule of Speakers for the 2024 Republican National Convention
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July 16, 2024Hillbilly Elegy Edited for J. D. Vance’s Vice Presidential Campaign
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May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
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July 26, 2024I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and If Trump and Vance Win I’m Going to Start a Sexual Relationship with My Couch
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July 26, 2024Skills You Need as President of the United States or Skills You Need as a Stepmom?
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July 26, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Tolerated the Cynics
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July 26, 2024We Went Ahead and Made an AI Olympian