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Eli is a writer living in New York City and sometimes Los Angeles. He is a former staff writer for The Tonight Show. His writing has appeared in The New Yorker, McSweeney’s, and his diary. To read more of his work, subscribe to his newsletter.
January 11, 2021We Are Living In Orwell’s 1984. I Think. I Don’t Know. I Didn’t Read the Book. Who’s Orwell?
January 4, 2021Here’s How Time Works In 2021
December 22, 2020Kids, You’re Old Enough to Know: Santa’s Real. And He’s Dangerous.
August 14, 2020Due to Budget Cuts, Every Day Is Now Monday
May 12, 2020Here’s How Time Works Now
April 28, 2020I Went Back In Time to Stop All This, But I Ended Up Giving It to Everyone Way Earlier, and Now It’s a Lot Worse
April 10, 2020Hi, I’m Jesus, And When I Get Back, I Want All The Eggs Hidden