ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Eli Grober
Eli is the author of the satirical essay collection This Won’t Help, listed on the New Yorker’s “Best Books We Read This Week.” He writes the humor newsletter Here’s Something.
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May 31, 2024HELP PROVE I DID NOTHING WRONG BY SENDING ME MONEY IMMEDIATELY
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March 29, 2024Hi, I’m Jesus, and When I Get Back, I Want All the Eggs Hidden
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December 6, 2023Answering Questions at the Climate Summit After My Speech in Support of Oil World
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October 24, 2023We Must Give Equal Airtime to the Democratic Incumbent and the Guy Who Wants Everyone to Drink Their Own Piss
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September 7, 2023For Just Forty Hours a Week of Intense Work Outside Your Full-Time Job, You Too Can Make Passive Income
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June 9, 2023HELP PROVE I’M INNOCENT BY SENDING ME MONEY IMMEDIATELY
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April 3, 2023Oh, Great, Now Every Politician Has to Be Super Careful Not to Commit Crimes
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March 1, 2023How Can We Afford to Bail Out Student Loan Borrowers When We Can Barely Afford to Bail Out the Entire Airline Industry, Citigroup, Bank of America, AIG, Bear Stearns, Chrysler, and Then the Entire Airline Industry Again?
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January 4, 2023Congratulations on Making It to 2023, the Final Year
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December 15, 2022I Believe in Free Speech, So Long as I Get to Change What Free Speech Means to Whatever I Want
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November 11, 2022Introducing Mr. Musk’s Cure-All Company Elixir
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October 27, 2022I Don’t Want Government Involved in Decisions About Abortion. Instead, I Want Government Involved in Decisions About Abortion
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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August 30, 2024New School Year Drop-Off and Pick-Up Rules
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August 15, 2024If Tim Walz Is America’s Dad, These Are America’s Other Family Members
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August 23, 2024We Have Updated Our Children’s Menu Options to Better Reflect What We See Your Children Doing in Our Restaurant
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September 11, 2024Maura Quint’s Presidential Debate Recaps: The One with the Tackle and the Bait
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September 11, 2024Welcoming Remarks Made at a Literary Reading, 9/25/01
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September 11, 2024Our Baby Name Book Acknowledges That There’s More to Life Than Infancy
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September 10, 2024But What If I Don’t Care for Hope and Joy?