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Articles by
Eli Grober
Eli writes Here’s Something, a weekly humor newsletter. He is a former staff writer for The Tonight Show, and his work appears regularly in the New Yorker, McSweeney’s, and his diary.
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October 1, 2021“We Should Absolutely Tax the Rich,” I Say as I Sail Away on My Yacht
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September 28, 2021Why I’m Doing My Own Research Before Using a Seat Belt
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September 9, 2021Neo, You Can Take the Blue Pill or You Can Take the Red Pill. Either is Fine, Honestly. Just Don’t Take the Ivermectin
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August 5, 2021We Will Do Anything to Get You to Work for Us Except Pay You Enough
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June 16, 2021How I Saved Enough to Buy a House with My Parents’ Money
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May 20, 2021The Completely Normal, Totally Reasonable Unwritten Rules of Baseball
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April 22, 2021I Will Gladly Explain Why I Hate The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Just As Soon As I Finish Reading All 22 Pages
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April 7, 2021The Only Acceptable Form of Free Speech Is Giving Me Money
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March 23, 2021The Only Way to Prevent Car Crashes Is More Cars
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March 17, 2021The Filibuster Is Important, Except When It Does Not Benefit Me, and Then It Is Bad
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February 17, 2021I’ve Never Tried Your Idea, and Now Everything Is on Fire, and That’s How I Know Your Idea Is Bad
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February 11, 2021I’ve Seen the Evidence, and There’s a Lot of It, and It’s Overwhelming and Very Persuasive, and I’ve Decided to Ignore It
Trending 🔥
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October 8, 2021A Typical Friday in Oregon, as Imagined by My East Coast Friends
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September 2, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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September 30, 2021This Is Your Kid’s School and Even Though the Emergency Contact Form Lists Your Husband, We Need You, the Mom
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September 22, 2021It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers