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Articles by
Eli Grober
Eli is a writer living in New York City and sometimes Los Angeles. He is a former staff writer for The Tonight Show. His writing has appeared in The New Yorker, McSweeney’s, and his diary. To read more of his work, subscribe to his newsletter.
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January 11, 2021We Are Living In Orwell’s 1984. I Think. I Don’t Know. I Didn’t Read the Book. Who’s Orwell?
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January 4, 2021Here’s How Time Works In 2021
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December 22, 2020Kids, You’re Old Enough to Know: Santa’s Real. And He’s Dangerous.
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August 14, 2020Due to Budget Cuts, Every Day Is Now Monday
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May 12, 2020Here’s How Time Works Now
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April 28, 2020I Went Back In Time to Stop All This, But I Ended Up Giving It to Everyone Way Earlier, and Now It’s a Lot Worse
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April 10, 2020Hi, I’m Jesus, And When I Get Back, I Want All The Eggs Hidden
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January 15, 2021
Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-1,053 -
December 21, 2020Things I Didn’t Have on My 2020 Bingo Card Bingo
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January 11, 2021Grendel Should Not Have Rampaged Through Our Capitol, But Slaying Him Will Only Further Divide Our Clans
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January 4, 2021Here’s How Time Works In 2021
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January 15, 2021
Short Conversations With Poets: Henri Cole -
January 15, 2021This Satire Article Was Not Optimized for Search Engine Optimization
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January 15, 2021Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-1,053
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January 14, 2021Asking Me to Stop Beating You with This Sock Full of Quarters Will Only Further Divide Our Nation