ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Eli Grober
Eli is the author of the satirical essay collection This Won’t Help, listed on the New Yorker’s “Best Books We Read This Week.” He writes the humor newsletter Here’s Something.
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September 27, 2022The White House’s Plan to Cancel Student Loan Debt Will Cost—Who Cares? Money Is Made Up and We Spend Twice That Much on the Military Every Year
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August 31, 2022Now That I Am Rich, I Won’t Shut the Fuck Up
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July 28, 2022I’m the Average Driver on the Road Right Now, and I’m Out of My Fucking Mind
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July 7, 2022Wait, You Can Just Make Your Leader “Step Down”?
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June 28, 2022Sure, the Supreme Court Is Making Some Bad Decisions. But at Least the Rest of Their Decisions Are Also Bad
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June 10, 2022Stop Politicizing This Thing That Can Only Be Solved Through Politics
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May 10, 2022Please Respect My Right to Privacy While I Completely Destroy Yours
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April 26, 2022I Like Free Speech So Much I’ve Decided to Buy It
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April 20, 2022There’s No Need to Wear a Mask On This Flight—We’re Not Scared! Now Take Off Your Shoes in Case There’s a Bomb in Your Socks
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April 14, 2022New Reservation Rules for the Restaurant That Hosted the Last Supper
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April 1, 2022You Can Lie About Election Fraud and Incite an Insurrection. But If You Accuse Us of Having Sex, That Will Not Stand
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March 7, 2022I Am Blocking Traffic with My Truck to Send a Message: I Have a Truck
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July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
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July 12, 2024Schedule of Speakers for the 2024 Republican National Convention
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July 16, 2024Hillbilly Elegy Edited for J. D. Vance’s Vice Presidential Campaign
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May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
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July 26, 2024I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and If Trump and Vance Win I’m Going to Start a Sexual Relationship with My Couch
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July 26, 2024Skills You Need as President of the United States or Skills You Need as a Stepmom?
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July 26, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Tolerated the Cynics
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July 26, 2024We Went Ahead and Made an AI Olympian