McSweeney's Quarterly Subscriptions
A nine-time finalist and three-time winner of the National Magazine Award for Fiction. Subscribe to McSweeney’s Quarterly today. Use the code TENDENCY at checkout for $5 off.
Articles by
Eli Grober
Eli writes Here’s Something, a weekly humor newsletter. He is a former staff writer for The Tonight Show, and his work appears regularly in the New Yorker, McSweeney’s, and his diary.
-
December 13, 2021Here at Time Magazine, We’ve Decided This Is One of Those Years We Pick a Person Who Sucks
-
November 4, 2021I Am Totally Against Critical Race Theory, and Furthermore, I Have No Clue What It Is
-
October 28, 2021I Am Proud to Announce That Starting Today, Our Company Still Sucks Shit
-
October 1, 2021“We Should Absolutely Tax the Rich,” I Say as I Sail Away on My Yacht
-
September 28, 2021Why I’m Doing My Own Research Before Using a Seat Belt
-
September 9, 2021Neo, You Can Take the Blue Pill or You Can Take the Red Pill. Either is Fine, Honestly. Just Don’t Take the Ivermectin
-
August 5, 2021We Will Do Anything to Get You to Work for Us Except Pay You Enough
-
May 20, 2021The Completely Normal, Totally Reasonable Unwritten Rules of Baseball
-
April 22, 2021I Will Gladly Explain Why I Hate The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Just As Soon As I Finish Reading All 22 Pages
-
April 7, 2021The Only Acceptable Form of Free Speech Is Giving Me Money
-
March 23, 2021The Only Way to Prevent Car Crashes Is More Cars
-
March 17, 2021The Filibuster Is Important, Except When It Does Not Benefit Me, and Then It Is Bad
Trending 🔥
-
May 13, 2022Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children
-
May 18, 2022A Passenger’s One-Star Review of the Trolley Ride from the Trolley Problem
-
August 5, 2019God Has Heard Your Thoughts and Prayers and He Thinks They Are Fucking Bullshit
-
May 13, 2022A Modest Proposal for Solving the Baby Formula Shortage
Recently
-
May 27, 2022On the Eighth Day, God Was Asked to Come Back to the Office Because Red Flags Were Raised with Certain Elements of His Work
-
May 27, 2022Starcourt Mall is Closing
-
May 26, 2022Yes, You Caught Me. I’m Trans Because It’s the Trendy New Thing to Legislate Against
-
May 26, 2022We Would Love to Consider You For This Job We Have Already Filled