Hello, it’s me, a very rich person. Like, disgustingly rich. As in: hundreds of millions and even billions of dollars rich. And now that I am rich, I have decided that I also won’t shut the fuck up.

I know, I know—you’d think that having enough money to never worry about anything ever again would help me either give most of it away, or at the very least, disappear into a private life that most people can only dream of. But I don’t want to do that. What I want is simple: to never, ever shut the fuck up.

You might ask, “If you’re not really gonna shut the fuck up, can you at least use your platform for good instead of hate?” Great question. And my answer is: you’re clearly trying to make me shut the fuck up, so no.

To be honest, there is uncontrollable hate in my heart. As I am untenably wealthy, I must shout that hate loud and clear via hundreds of cruel, uninformed tweets and thousands of grotesque, unreadable pages and hours of bizarre, rambling podcast episodes. For, as I have said before, I feel it is my obligation—nay, it is my duty —as a sickeningly rich person to never, ever shut the fuck up.

And you might ask, “Is it even possible to create true art or be a net force for good in society as an extremely wealthy person?” Another great question. And my answer is: who cares!

What I want is to be heard and read and seen, even though I have already been heard and read and seen more than pretty much anyone else who has ever lived. People need to hear the awful stuff I have to say because I say they need to hear it. It’s as simple as that.

And you might ask, “But seriously, how does the big thing that made you rich qualify you to talk about literally anything else?” Wow, so many great questions. It’s almost as if you never want me to shut the fuck up.

And you might ask, “But do you ever listen to anyone who disagrees with you in order to do some introspection?” Of course I do. I’ve been listening to you the entire time I’ve been talking—you just can’t tell I’m listening because I also refuse to ever shut the fuck up.

Look, I’ll say one final thing, and then I’ll stop talking here and go somewhere else to talk. This is what it all boils down to: I used to not have money, then I started writing and talking, and now I have a disgusting amount of money. This has made one thing very clear to me: I must never shut the fuck up.