I Know What's Best for You
“A clarion call for reproductive rights.”—Kirkus
“We could not need this book more right now.”—Merritt Tierce.
I Know What’s Best for You: Stories on Reproductive Freedom is out now
Articles by
Eli Grober
Eli writes Here’s Something, a weekly humor newsletter. He is a former staff writer for The Tonight Show, and his work appears regularly in the New Yorker, McSweeney’s, and his diary.
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February 17, 2021I’ve Never Tried Your Idea, and Now Everything Is on Fire, and That’s How I Know Your Idea Is Bad
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February 11, 2021I’ve Seen the Evidence, and There’s a Lot of It, and It’s Overwhelming and Very Persuasive, and I’ve Decided to Ignore It
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January 26, 2021I’m Being Censored, and You Can Read, Hear, and See Me Talk About It in the News, on the Radio, and on TV
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January 11, 2021We Are Living In Orwell’s 1984. I Think. I Don’t Know. I Didn’t Read the Book. Who’s Orwell?
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January 4, 2021Here’s How Time Works In 2021
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December 22, 2020Kids, You’re Old Enough to Know: Santa’s Real. And He’s Dangerous.
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August 14, 2020Due to Budget Cuts, Every Day Is Now Monday
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May 12, 2020Here’s How Time Works Now
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April 28, 2020I Went Back In Time to Stop All This, But I Ended Up Giving It to Everyone Way Earlier, and Now It’s a Lot Worse
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April 10, 2020Hi, I’m Jesus, and When I Get Back, I Want All the Eggs Hidden
Trending 🔥
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May 13, 2022Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children
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May 18, 2022A Passenger’s One-Star Review of the Trolley Ride from the Trolley Problem
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August 5, 2019God Has Heard Your Thoughts and Prayers and He Thinks They Are Fucking Bullshit
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May 13, 2022A Modest Proposal for Solving the Baby Formula Shortage
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May 27, 2022On the Eighth Day, God Was Asked to Come Back to the Office Because Red Flags Were Raised with Certain Elements of His Work
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May 27, 2022Starcourt Mall is Closing
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May 26, 2022Yes, You Caught Me. I’m Trans Because It’s the Trendy New Thing to Legislate Against
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May 26, 2022We Would Love to Consider You For This Job We Have Already Filled