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Articles by
Eli Grober
Eli is the author of the satirical essay collection This Won’t Help, listed on the New Yorker’s “Best Books We Read This Week.” He writes the humor newsletter Here’s Something.
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March 7, 2022I Am Blocking Traffic with My Truck to Send a Message: I Have a Truck
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March 1, 2022The State of the Union Is Pretty Good, Not Great, I Don’t Know—What Do You Wanna Hear? It’s Bad, Things Are Bad
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January 31, 2022Choosing Not to Do Business with Spotify Is Censorship. Now, Here’s a List of Books We Need to Ban
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January 24, 2022“We Need to Get Back to Normal,” I Say, While I Continue to Live My Life Normally, As I Have Throughout This Pandemic
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January 14, 2022Here’s How Time Works in 2022
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December 13, 2021Here at Time Magazine, We’ve Decided This Is One of Those Years We Pick a Person Who Sucks
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November 4, 2021I Am Totally Against Critical Race Theory, and Furthermore, I Have No Clue What It Is
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October 28, 2021I Am Proud to Announce That Starting Today, Our Company Still Sucks Shit
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October 1, 2021“We Should Absolutely Tax the Rich,” I Say as I Sail Away on My Yacht
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September 28, 2021Why I’m Doing My Own Research Before Using a Seat Belt
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September 9, 2021Neo, You Can Take the Blue Pill or You Can Take the Red Pill. Either is Fine, Honestly. Just Don’t Take the Ivermectin
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August 5, 2021We Will Do Anything to Get You to Work for Us Except Pay You Enough
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November 6, 2024I Don’t Hate Women Candidates. I Just Thought an Erratic and Vindictive Criminal Was Worthier of My Vote Than a Woman Candidate
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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November 6, 2024Here’s Why a Second Death Star Won’t Be That Bad