We politicize every kind of tragedy these days, and it disgusts me. Take, for instance, this latest terrible thing that just happened. It’s awful—incomprehensible, even! But why do we need to bring politics into it? Because it’s the only way to make sweeping, long-term change? Despicable! Stop politicizing this thing that can only be solved through politics.

Why can’t we just let a bad thing happen instead of “trying to solve it”? Can’t we simply witness the worst thing imaginable occur, and then take a step back and… not do anything? Everyone’s always trying to “pass laws” and “organize” to prevent unbearable tragedy—but that’s all political stuff, and I can’t stand anything with the word “politic” inside of it. So please, stop politicizing horrendous tragedies that can only be fixed if we politicize them.

Look, I don’t like bad things just as much as the next person. But I don’t like politics more. This is why I’ve been calling my representatives and asking them to stop taking part in politics. I’m also replying to every single tweet about potential solutions to this terrible thing that keeps happening with the same words every time: “Stop politicizing this horrifying thing that can only be solved through politics!”

To be clear, I have a pretty loose definition of politics. To me, politics is anything that’s trying to make the world a better place for its most vulnerable people. That may not be how most people define politics, but it sure as hell is how I define it so that I can continue to be upset when people try to politicize literally anything.

Actually, I’ve decided to extend my definition of politics to also mean, “If you are saying anything at all about a terrible thing.” Honestly, we should stop saying anything about everything—but especially the terrible things! When you talk about terrible things that have happened, you are politicizing those terrible things. And if we politicize terrible things, then the terrible things might have a chance to stop happening. And if terrible things start to happen less frequently, then I’ll have fewer chances to complain that everyone keeps politicizing terrible things.

Don’t you see how that would be terrible for me?