PAY AS YOU GO
“Pay As You Go is an exuberant, maximalist delight.”
—Kelly Link
Articles by
Eli Grober
Eli is the author of the satirical essay collection This Won’t Help, listed on the New Yorker’s “Best Books We Read This Week.” He writes the humor newsletter Here’s Something.
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March 23, 2021The Only Way to Prevent Car Crashes Is More Cars
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March 17, 2021The Filibuster Is Important, Except When It Does Not Benefit Me, and Then It Is Bad
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February 17, 2021I’ve Never Tried Your Idea, and Now Everything Is on Fire, and That’s How I Know Your Idea Is Bad
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February 11, 2021I’ve Seen the Evidence, and There’s a Lot of It, and It’s Overwhelming and Very Persuasive, and I’ve Decided to Ignore It
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February 4, 2021The Terrible Things I Have Said and Done My Entire Life, and Right Up Until a Few Days Ago, Do Not Represent Me As a Person
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January 26, 2021I’m Being Censored, and You Can Read, Hear, and See Me Talk About It in the News, on the Radio, and on TV
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January 11, 2021We Are Living In Orwell’s 1984. I Think. I Don’t Know. I Didn’t Read the Book. Who’s Orwell?
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January 4, 2021Here’s How Time Works In 2021
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December 22, 2020Kids, You’re Old Enough to Know: Santa’s Real. And He’s Dangerous.
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August 14, 2020Due to Budget Cuts, Every Day Is Now Monday
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May 12, 2020Here’s How Time Works Now
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April 28, 2020I Went Back In Time to Stop All This, But I Ended Up Giving It to Everyone Way Earlier, and Now It’s a Lot Worse
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November 22, 2023Post-Dinner Interview with a Twelve-Year-Old Who Sat at the Grown-Ups’ Table for the First Time on Thanksgiving
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November 14, 2023In the Office Auto-Reply Emails for a Hybrid Work Schedule
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November 17, 2023Quiz: Are You the Worst Person at Thanksgiving?
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November 13, 2023Twelve Things Your College Freshman Son Will Never Say During His Weekly Call Home
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November 28, 2023Realistic Cold-Weather Clothing Options for Tweens
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November 27, 2023Your Amazon Order of Reusable Metal Straws Is Currently on Its Way Via the Most Ecologically Devastating Route You Could Imagine