• Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • The Believer
  • Donate
McSweeney’s
Internet Tendency
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE

Young reader in your life? Subscribe to Illustoria magazine today. Recognized by The New York Times as a best gift for kids!

July 13, 2017

I Went to Dave’s Crab Cabin and All I Got Was This Really Long T-Shirt

by Dan Caprera

 

  • T-Shirts
Please help support our writers and keep our site ad-free by becoming a patron.
Become a patron
Subscribe to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency’s Substack
Subscribe to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency’s Newsletter
➤

Welcome to My Podcast, In Which I Do a Feminist Analysis of Thundercats and Sob Quietly

➤

Teddy Wayne’s
Unpopular Proverbs: Comedy

Suggested Reads
  • August 25, 2009
    Dan Liebert, Verbal Cartoonist: Jeweled T-Shirt
    by Dan Liebert
  • February 6, 2012
    Purchase This World Champion’s Locker Room T-Shirt and Associate Yourself With Greatness
    by Mike Carrier
  • October 18, 2004
    Explaining Novelty T-shirts to My Mom
    by Pasha Malla
  • August 19, 2005
    Poorly Selling T-Shirts
    by Josh Knisely
Trending 🔥
  1. June 13, 2025
    Congrats, Dipshit, You’re a Dad Now
    by Carlos Greaves
  2. June 6, 2025
    I, Saruman, Have Ended My Alliance with the Dark Lord Sauron
    by Carlos Greaves
  3. February 10, 2015
    What a Straight Man’s Favorite Musical Says About Him
    by Mara Wilson
  4. June 9, 2025
    It’s Not Going Great, but Imagine How Much Worse Things Would Be with a Woman President
    by Talia Argondezzi
Recently
  • June 19, 2025
    The Revolution Will Not Be Televised, But It Will Be Optimized (Presented in Beta)
    by David Shih
  • June 18, 2025
    I Am Your Body and I Am Done Keeping Score
    by Madeleine Trebenski
  • June 18, 2025
    The Trump Playbook for Brokering Peace Between Israel and Iran
    by Dash MacIntyre
  • June 17, 2025
    I’ve Figured Out What My Mayoral Run Is Missing: I Need to Start Sexually Harassing Women
    by Jessica M. Goldstein
The greatest graduation gift is this gorgeous deluxe boxed set of Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass. Shockingly affordable!
Dave Eggers silkscreen prints to benefit the new International Library of Youth Writing! Purchase your own unique piece of art and check back regularly for more.
“Brilliant and always surprising.”
—Detroit Free Press
“A beguiling novel about the outer limits of artistic indiscretion.”
—Rachel Yoder, author of Nightbitch
“This is the kind of magazine you keep on your bookshelves with your favorite books.”
— Cece Bell, author of El Deafo
A thirteen-time National Magazine Award finalist. Subscribe to The Believer today!
McSweeney’s is an independent nonprofit publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, Illustoria and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. You can support us today by making a donation.

We are committed to our environment. Each year, we purchase carbon offsets commensurate with our estimate of the impact of the printing, shipping, and travel necessary to publish our books and magazines. We are continually working to minimize our impact on the planet by examining every business decision through a lens of sustainability. To support this effort, or to learn more, please write to executive director Amanda Uhle. McSweeney’s accepts no writing aided in any manner by AI. Before publishing any writing—from a letter to a book-length work—authors published at McSweeney’s will be asked to attest that AI played no part in the creation or writing of that work.
  • Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • The Believer
  • Donate
  • About Us
  • Events
  • Email Newsletter
  • Advertise
  • Store Policy
  • Contact Us
  • Internships
  • Submission Guidelines
Copyright © 1998–2025, McSweeney’s Literary Arts Fund.
All Rights Reserved.
Search Magnifying Glass
  • Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • The Believer
  • Donate
 

Porthole is out now!

“A hilarious and exhilarating provocation about art-making at any cost and the gutting ruthlessness of power. Joanna Howard is a singular talent; her work is propulsive, kinetic, and laser sharp. She is a genius!”—Patrick Cottrell. Bring home Porthole today.

×