Does your 9-to-5 job make you crazy and stressed?

Do you wake up each morning with fear in your heart?

Do you fall asleep each night with doubts in your mind?

I felt these things once. Then I discovered a proven program of Zen meditation that voided my desires and left me with nothing but bliss.

I can teach you my secret.

The only catch?

You must be willing to do this:

Yes, that’s right, you must master my zero weird tricks.

Here is my offer to you today. For just zero payments of $0, I will teach you nothing. As soon as you have learned it, you will be free.

My program can be used in your home or apartment, in a cubicle, on a park bench, or in a prison cell, though these are all the same.

If you want my zero weird tricks, perfect: join my email list and I will send you no emails every day for zero days then unsubscribe you automatically. Goodbye.

My program is not like others.

Other programs promise flat stomachs, great riches, or the incessant clapping of hands and tongues.

I, instead, offer this:

Are you skeptical? I understand. I was skeptical once too. Skeptical of zero tricks.

But now I believe.

Why? Because nothing works. It works amazingly.

Do not just take my word for it.

Listen to the incredible testimonials of my students:

  • “                        ” – Laura
  • “                         ” – Daniel
  • “                        ” – Jeannette
  • “Wow, I love it!” – Bob

Bob was given a full refund of $0 and kicked out of my program.

Do you wish to avoid Bob’s mistakes?

I will show you how.

To begin, it is simple.

Fill a glass with water, and put the glass on a plate.

Have you done it? Good.

Now empty the glass.

Now remove the glass.

Now remove the plate.

What remains?

That, my friend, is my proven program.

It changes lives.

People hear of my program and give an incredulous stare. They want some “better tricks.”

They ask, “If I want to feel better, shouldn’t I maybe eat an apple or go for a walk?”

“Your program is so cheap! It sounds too good to be true!” they cry.

“Funny how life is like that,” I answer.

Now it is time to ask yourself… Are you ready to reach nirvana by closing your eyes and subtracting your thoughts from themselves?


Do you want to become one with a single raindrop that reflects the universe on its surface and holds emptiness at its center?


Are you prepared to put away your fears and complaints, and stare at a waterfall for fifteen hours?

That’s nice, but it’s too many tricks. Come back in a month when you are ready to do less. Preferably nothing.

If you feel ready to start, then please do not look for my BUY NOW! button as I have none. I do not accept money since I have nowhere to put it.

Instead, you will find my program by looking through an infinite window in a room with no walls.

Or you will find it resting on a motionless breeze in a place with no air.

Or you will find it at my ClickFunnels landing page, here:

Choose one.

Then act now. Or later. Or never.

Will my offer today last? Surely nothing lasts.

One day you and I and everyone we know will cease.

But my zero weird tricks will remain.

A tasteless taste.

A soundless sound.

A formless form.

Are you contemplating these things?

Then my program is working already.

Could it help your friends and loved ones too?

Could we change the world together if you share my totally blank infographics on Instagram?

These questions remind me of a story.

Once a great master, Zeno, was approached by an ambitious politician.

The politician sought wisdom, so that he could create utopia.

“Oh, great master Zeno,” the politician said, “How shall I become enlightened?”

The master replied, “Enlightenment is simple. To find it, you must first climb a mountain with no height.”

The politician said, “Old man, that’s impossible! How do you climb a mountain with no height?”

The master replied, “Zero steps at a time.”

After pausing, he added, “And the next ten people to do so will automatically receive this FREE, limited-edition Contigo Travel Mug.”