PRINCIPAL: Hey there. Can I help you?

TEACHER: Yes. I’d like to become a teacher

PRINCIPAL: Do you have any teaching experience?

TEACHER: Nope. None.

PRINCIPAL: That shouldn’t be a problem. We’ll get you set up with a classroom in no time. Have you ever taken a course in teaching?

TEACHER: No, but my uncle’s a teacher. He could probably show me how to do it.

PRINCIPAL: Probably!

TEACHER: There’s also YouTube.

PRINCIPAL: Yes, true, true. So what subject would you like to teach?

TEACHER: I don’t know. What are my options?

PRINCIPAL: Well, we have English, history, science, math…

TEACHER: Oh, math sounds fun. I’ll take math.

PRINCIPAL: Excellent choice. Math is our top-of-the-line subject in this school. You’ll love teaching math. Have you ever taught it before?

TEACHER: No, but I saw the movie Stand and Deliver.

PRINCIPAL: That’s a great movie. You can learn a lot about teaching math from that movie.

TEACHER: Do I need to take some sort of test to see if I’m qualified to teach math?

PRINCIPAL: Don’t be silly. You’ve seen Stand and Deliver. That more than covers it. However, if you’re interested, a lot of first-time teachers go off-site and practice teaching a bit, before entering a classroom.

TEACHER: Oh yes. I will totally do that.

PRINCIPAL: Great! Now I just need to do a background check before you enter the classroom.

TEACHER: Okay, I’ll just—

PRINCIPAL: DONE! Everything seems to be in order.

TEACHER: Wait… really? Did your background check show my mental instability, barely suppressed rage and bigotry, and history of hating children?

PRINCIPAL: Nope, just that you’ve never been convicted of mental instability, rage and bigotry, and hating children.

TEACHER: Um, wow.

PRINCIPAL: Also, that you’re over 18!

TEACHER: This particular ID says I am.

PRINCIPAL: Okay, I guess you’re all set. The minute you leave my office, you can start teaching math.

TEACHER: Ooh, what’s that class over there?

PRINCIPAL: That’s AP Math. It’s a college-level course.

TEACHER: And that one?

PRINCIPAL: That’s an inclusion class. You need a separate license and years of specialized training to work with either of those classes.

TEACHER: Really?

PRINCIPAL: Haha, no. You want it, you’ve got it.

TEACHER: Yay! I can’t wait to teach as many children as possible, as quickly as I can. I love teaching.

PRINCIPAL: Everyone loves teaching. It’s your God-given right to teach. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. By the way, who are those people you’re bringing into the classroom with you?

TEACHER: Those are my friends. I met them last week while we were all digging holes in the nearby woods. They might seem shady, but I can vouch for them.


PRINCIPAL: Are… any of them looking for a job? ‘Cause we have openings.