• Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • Donate
McSweeney’s
Internet Tendency

Celebrating our 21st Year!Celebrating our 21st year of publishing daily humor almost every day.
Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON

Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.

August 11, 2017

If You Can Read This Bumper Sticker, You Are Waaaaay Too Close!

by Dan Caprera

 




  • Bumper Stickers
  • Cars
As little as $1 a month ($12 a year!) goes a long way towards supporting our editorial staff and contributors while keeping us ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.
Become a patron
Share
Tweet
 
➤

Nantucket Summer House Names That Double as Epitaphs
➤

Navy SEAL Drill Instructor or My Asian Dad?
Suggested Reads
  • January 24, 2006
    Things You Can Do If You Love Jesus Other Than Honk
    by Jen Goodhue
  • March 17, 2005
    To Change the Carburetor
    by Jenn Guitart
  • September 23, 2002
    Stay A While: Articles in Back Issues of Parking Today
    by Steve Delahoyde
  • March 23, 2007
    The Plot of an Adult Film, Ford F-Series, Told Chronologically Through Car Model Names
    by Jeff Russell
Trending 🔥
  1. November 20, 2017
    Dante’s Nine Circles of Hell, Reimagined for Linguistic Transgressions
    by John Rauschenberg
  2. January 14, 2020
    How to Buckle Your Baby Into a Car Seat in 36 Easy Steps
    by Kristen Mulrooney
  3. November 5, 2018
    Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-546
    by Ben Parker, Stephanie Steinbrecher, and Kelsey Ronan
  4. February 22, 2019
    Things That Outnumber Women Who’ve Been Nominated for an Oscar for Best Director
    by Jesse Shamon
Recently
  • January 23, 2020
    FAQ: Your Visit to Flow State
    by Caitlin Kunkel and Erica Lies
  • January 23, 2020
    Post Hostess Donettes Cereal
    by Michelle Mohney
  • January 22, 2020
    A Giving Tree Grows In Brooklyn
    by Ali Solomon
  • January 22, 2020
    Is Your Child an Elder God, Fae Changeling, Keanu Reeves, or Just a Kid?
    by Nathan Spring
"This is not a book to simply read in total and digest--yes, do that--but it is also a work to return to in parts whenever necessary. It's a book to ingest like medicine."
—Rion Scott
"It's going to take lots of energy for us to grapple with the challenge we're facing, and some of it is on vivid display in these pages." —Bill McKibben
A special edition of Unnecessarily Beautiful Spaces for Young Minds on Fire, packaged in a limited, corrugated-cardboard slipcase. Every kid in the world needs a safe, welcoming, and even weird...
Subscribe to our National Magazine Award-winning, somewhat accurately named, McSweeney’s Quarterly today.
McSweeney’s is an independent nonprofit publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, Illustoria and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. You can support us today by making a donation.
  • Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • Donate
  • About Us
  • Events
  • Email Newsletter
  • Advertise
  • Store Policy
  • Contact Us
  • Internships
  • Submission Guidelines
Copyright © 1998–2020, McSweeney’s Publishing LLC.
All Rights Reserved.
  • Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • Donate