Dear Parent or Guardian,

Congratulations! Your child scored exceptionally high on the Most Recent Achievement Test (MRAT) and is invited to test for Advanced Placement. The district has decided to do away with the Curriculum Response Aptitude Test (CRAPT) so those scores will be immediately flushed away. If you remember, the CRAPT replaced the Teacher Aptitude Test (TAPT) and before that the Student Workload Aptitude Test (SWAPT). Due to your child’s high scores on the MRAT, we are delighted to reward your student with another test.

Accompanying this letter is a brochure titled “Raising the Advanced Placement Child” that outlines the benefits of Advanced Placement to you, the parent. Among these benefits are the ability to toss around terms such as “Advanced Placement” or “AP” for those in the know, plus “Gifted and Talented” and “Highly Proficient.” We know that your special snowflake is very bright and paying a fee for this extra test will prove this to everyone. This helpful brochure, written by former Advanced Placement students in their extended gap years, includes sample sentences for use at parties and PTA gatherings such as “Tina just wasn’t challenged enough while reading James Joyce” or “Timmy’s Advanced Placement coursework conflicts with his Fencing classes and Brazilian Portuguese lessons.” Also included in this envelope is a bumper sticker that says “My Child Has a Higher Reading Level.” This sticker will complement any zero- or low-emission vehicle and encourage conversations with other parents while waiting in line at the organic food co-op.

Advanced Placement classes are part of a rigorous curriculum of STEM topics. STEM stands for Science, Technology, Engineering and Math. STEM itself has recently evolved into STREAM, which incorporates Reading and Art. This was once referred to as The Curriculum, but the district has been persuaded to inform parents that a STREAM education will ensure highly proficient students a chance to develop the skills necessary for future college entrance and aptitude exams.

Should you decide to register your child for this Advanced Placement test — and we have every confidence you will — please fill out the attached paperwork. Again, congratulations on your child’s test score. This points to the fact that you ate organic foods, chose sustainable nursery furniture and didn’t vaccinate yourself, or your pets during gestation. Your student has a lifetime of success in front of him/her/them and will continue to achieve top test results because of his/her/their solid dedication and practice by taking tests.

Office of Advanced Placement