“Pope Francis isn’t pleased with the words to the Lord’s Prayer — specifically, the part about temptation. In an interview with an Italian TV network, the pontiff said that the current language of the Our Father prayer ‘is not a good translation.’” — NPR, 12/8/17

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Our Father who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come,
And we can’t wait,
But we would like to offer some constructive criticism.
The daily bread has been lovely,
And has kept us sustained,
For, like, ever.
But rather than carb loading,
we humbly pray that you focus more,
on the “deliver us from evil”
that was actually the main point,
of our prayer.
Sorry we buried the lede.
Lead us not into temptation,
but also, please stop leading,
sexual predators,
into positions of power.
And, this is important, lead them not into temptation.
I know we’ve had a tenuous relationship,
with science,
but if you could spread the word of
climate change being real,
in addition to the love, hope, and joy,
it would really help us,
survive long enough
for thy kingdom to come.
If the last several months,
have been some kind of lesson,
on taking things for granted,
we’re really sorry.
Really, really, really sorry.
We’ll try to listen more,
but we also hope,
that you’ll try to listen more too.